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The Prince Has No Pants
Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Johnathan McClain
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By:
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Matthew Howry
About this listen
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System.
It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential.
Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
Written by Matthew Howry, better known to Royal Road fans as Salty Waters.
©2020 Matthew Howry (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
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Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
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PrimeVerse Omnibus
- A Complete LitRPG Trilogy
- By: R.K. Billiau
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 36 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Hudson, the virtual world of PrimeVerse isn't all bad. It's beautiful, much nicer than overpopulated Earth. It almost feels like a vacation except for the volatile wildlife, lack of any amenities, and—oh yeah—the inability to log out. Exploring the world, learning his class, and leveling skills is all fun and games until a powerful rogue player with a vendetta shows up to wipe out Hudson and his primitive tribe. Thrust into a conflict he didn't create, Hudson is forced into a cycle of respawning where he learns that even death can be used as a tool. So much for that vacation.
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Takes five hours to tell Karen to shut up.
- By M.B.R. on 08-29-24
By: R.K. Billiau
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Forever Young
- Forever Young, Book 1
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Jason Richards is in his 40s, recently divorced, and hates his job, but all of that changes when he's attacked by a redheaded vampire and left for dead in a truckstop bathroom. He soon wakes up in a mansion, surrounded by beautiful women and told he can never go home again. More importantly, he finds that his bones no longer ache, he feels amazing, and he looks like a 20-year-old kid again. That's because he's a Ferin, a Forever Young, gifted with immortality and special abilities unlike anything he ever thought possible.
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Cheesy vampire sex stories
- By Lance on 03-24-21
By: Daniel Pierce
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Misfit Mage
- Fledgling God, Book 1
- By: Michael Taggart
- Narrated by: Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He went searching for a fresh start. He didn’t expect to find unusual friends, fierce enemies, and primal powers. Jason thought that it was the end of his life after being hunted and attacked by a band of ruthless thugs. Instead, he tapped into the source of creation and emerged from his death experience with magical powers. As a new mage, Jason finds himself part of a wonderful - and dangerous - new supernatural world.
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Really wanted to like this one more
- By Zell Oakley on 02-24-20
By: Michael Taggart
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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Keeping It Real
- Quantum Gravity, Book 1
- By: Justina Robson
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2015 the Quantum Bomb exploded. An accident at an atom-smasher has fractured reality and opened Earth - now called Otopia - to waves of immigration from other dimensions, home to demons, fairies, elves and elementals. It is now 2021 and Lila Black, a special operative condemned to live as a cyborg after losing her limbs on a dangerous mission, has been assigned as bodyguard to Zal, a charismatic elven rock star.
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I made to the end....barely
- By pakkmom on 04-14-09
By: Justina Robson
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Battle Miner
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.
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Great start
- By Austin Verm on 03-21-23
By: Kirk Mason
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
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Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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World Keeper: Birth of a World
- World Keeper Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Miller
- Narrated by: Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Join Dale Mitchell, your run-of-the-mill truck driver. Until one day, he accidentally runs someone over. Now, through a series of strange and unforeseeable circumstances, he has become anything but normal. A story of magic, of a history that never was, and of a man trying to go through his day-to-day life while managing the affairs of an entire world. Join Dale Mitchell on his journey.
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Lost interest
- By Silv3r on 11-08-17
By: Justin Miller
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The Uncommon Rider
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Warrior: Monster Slayer
- Monsterworld Saga, Book 1
- By: Sam Ryder
- Narrated by: Soren Gray
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Sam Ryder's life already sucks, and it's about to get worse when he's fired from his dead-end job as a programmer. He's about to head home to escape into his favorite RPG, Alien Civilization, when he's offered a thrill ride on a death machine by a gorgeous woman straight out of one of his games. Before Sam can say "WTF?", he's been whisked away to a dark world of monsters and goddesses, his body transformed from Outcast to Warrior, the second level on a ladder that may eventually carry him all the way to Demigod.
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for soft headed idiots
- By Chax on 12-06-18
By: Sam Ryder
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The Bleed
- Rupture
- By: Mark Tufo, Chris Philbrook, David Moody
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
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The first book in a new series spanning worlds and ages. A war is raging between gods and demons, with an unstoppable interdimensional terror - THE BLEED - destroying everything it touches. From ancient alien civilisations through to modern day London, through to deep space and beyond, nothing and no one is safe. The Bleed wants flesh. It wants to destroy life. It wants to be worshipped.
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Amazing
- By Aaron Starcher on 07-16-20
By: Mark Tufo, and others
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3.5 stars
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Meh
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Cool premise, not cool execution.
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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Like the land but actually finishes story lines.
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After Lucas dies during a freak explosion, divine intervention sees him brought back to life with the power to control a new dungeon. There are just a couple of issues: his old body is bound to his dungeon, and the craziness of what he thought was his final act is only getting weirder. When he sees newbie adventurers entering his dungeon, though, he decides to help them survive and complete their quests. After all, adventuring is a process, and someone needs to guide the rookies.
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Great dungeon LitRPG
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Feedback from a trucker
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Victor can’t wait to get the hell out of high school, go to the local community college on a sports scholarship, and start his own life. But that’s all put on hold when he enters his abuela’s house and somehow ends up stepping into a world unlike anything he’s ever known, filled with fantastical meta-humans; walking, talking devils; and other creatures one usually needs some serious pharmaceuticals to see. Fanwath is no dream, though. In fact, it’s a nightmare.
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Good one
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It was just another sunny day at the coast when a life was changed forever. What started as a prank for a young girl resulted in the elevation of a crab's existence. Now, wrenched from its happy life at the beach, the crab...HAS AWAKENED. Sir Crabby finds himself thrust into sapience. Into a world filled with creatures both mundane and magical, a world where evil lurks beneath the waves. Join Sir Crabby as he travels beneath the ocean, discovering power, adventuring forth and searching for his young friend as he's thrust into the Eternal Conflict of Arthos.
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Just yesterday, Ian Raven was a champion in Vale Tudo. His fighting spirit and the desire to win led him to the top of the fighting Olympus. Having met death in battle, Ian made a deal with a mysterious entity wearing the mask of a demon and found himself in a new body and a new world. A world that lives by old traditions. A world in which the law is the will of ruthless clans. A world with disturbed balance. A world hurtling toward the abyss.
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Juniper Smith was always a creator of worlds rather than the one who walked within them…until now. Somehow, the tables have turned in the most dramatic way possible. Juniper finds himself in a world filled with the wildest fantasies a mind could come up with, and his fingerprints are all over it.
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Easily one of the best litrpgs/rational fictions you will read
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Damaged Gods
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When I answered an ad for a caretaker at Saint Mark’s Sanctuary, I thought I’d be dusting chandeliers and polishing floors. I didn’t expect to be tricked into a curse, going into debt to a monster, and being forced to take a self-paced “let’s learn magic” course so I can fix a 2,000-year-old problem. And that monster? Not your ordinary, everyday beast. He has hooves, and horns, and fur on his legs. But you know where he doesn’t have fur? Yeah. There. Which is fine. Except he doesn’t wear pants.
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Torn on this one
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Space Tripping
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Chuck never thought too deeply about whether aliens existed - not until Jopp, an intergalactic transport pilot, drunkenly crashed on Earth and tried to steal his truck. Now Chuck finds himself unwittingly roped into helping Jopp work off a debt to the universe's most powerful corporation, the Prime Partners Intergalactic Consortium. Through a series of mishaps and misfortune, the duo find themselves in possession of a mysterious black case. In order to survive, they must fend off murderous marauders, an interplanetary police force, and a peculiar crime boss.
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Excellent Book!
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The Valens Legacy: Publisher's Pack 1
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In his junior year at college, the only things on Sean's mind are doing his homework and getting out of college to get a real job. A gamer and a bit of a nerd, Sean's philosophy in life has been to keep his head down and get his work done. But when a failed kidnapping attempt leaves him with a gaping hole in his memory, his oldest friend dead, and his mother missing, Sean suddenly finds his whole world turned upside down as he's thrust into the hidden world of magic and the supernatural.
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Sumtime' s you just want to have fun!
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As an engineer on the arkship Pilgrim-9, bound for the Tau Ceti solar system, Morgan Hall thought his life would revolve around maintaining and repairing the ship and supporting the needs of the five thousand colonists aboard. But when he’s roused early from a 240-year stasis, he’s confronted with chaos. Along with his shipmates, Morgan is brought down to a planet teeming with peril. Forced to fight for their survival without any of their tech to hand, they must adapt quickly to overcome countless threats in a world where magic is as real as science.
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Trash MC yet again! Return!!!
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What listeners say about The Prince Has No Pants
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- Christopher L Rader
- 01-26-21
surprisingly good
love the backstory of why humans are so op and the book is just funny as hell
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- adam
- 03-29-21
i almost never give 5 star ratings
book is hilarious better than 99% of all litrpgs out there. Author actually gives his character a soul
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- C. Curtis
- 03-22-23
Pretty funny
I’m enjoying the authors humor quite a bit. I have no clue how this story will unfold but it’s a good laugh. I do agree the story is moving really slow….but I’m kinda indifferent to that so far.
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- Melody
- 04-23-22
Not bad, overall a fun book
I am really loose with giving 5 stars as to be honest it wasn't the absolute best book. it lacked a bit in the plot in the sense that it feels like a prologue to the whole story rather than a book on it's own and the author decided to just stop because it sounded like a good place rather than it being the end of a book. I was hoping that (to not spoil anything ill just say) his "animal companion" story arc would get resolved at least.
but all in all it had everything I like about these lit RPGs with jokes and action and working in how the character's original skills somehow wind up useful in a fantasy setting and a dungeon AI that has a good personality. Even though it took half the book to get to the game world it was still kept interesting and my hatred of elves feels so validated
I will say it was ironic that I passed my phone to my friend to chose me a book from my wishlist at random and I hear McClain's voice again after I just finished the last noobtown book. Didn't even realize it till 10 min in.
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- M. Hofheinz
- 02-19-22
Ridiculous and fun!
Just a great, fun listen. Clever writing and good performance! Heading off to get the next one now
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- Anonymous User
- 02-21-21
A wonderful listen
Damn I love this book, a good mix of sub-genres in just the right way
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- mark
- 02-17-21
this was a great and funny book
loved this book. It was a very enjoyable book. I would recommend it to everyone.
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- Caleb Fults
- 01-14-21
Great story can't wait for the next book
Everything was great. The story was really good, great characters, and very funny.The performance was excellent, except where he completely butchered the jaws theme.
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- poemls
- 02-27-21
Comedic and story PAYOFF
Putting aside the excellent narration and the comedy that lands, this author knows how to make promises and fulfill them.
Early on you think that the backstory of the character has been payed off, but no, Howry hits you at the least expected moment with a comedic flare. And the way he is able to disguise info-dumps inside of comedy? I can't even begin.
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- Paul
- 02-16-21
Not bad
Slow start then got better the story was short and ended way too soon! Cant waite for next book!
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