The Prince Has No Pants
Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Johnathan McClain
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By:
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Matthew Howry
About this listen
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System.
It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential.
Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
Written by Matthew Howry, better known to Royal Road fans as Salty Waters.
©2020 Matthew Howry (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 36 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Hudson, the virtual world of PrimeVerse isn't all bad. It's beautiful, much nicer than overpopulated Earth. It almost feels like a vacation except for the volatile wildlife, lack of any amenities, and—oh yeah—the inability to log out. Exploring the world, learning his class, and leveling skills is all fun and games until a powerful rogue player with a vendetta shows up to wipe out Hudson and his primitive tribe. Thrust into a conflict he didn't create, Hudson is forced into a cycle of respawning where he learns that even death can be used as a tool. So much for that vacation.
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novel but rough around the edges
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-24
By: R.K. Billiau
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Forever Young
- Forever Young, Book 1
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Jason Richards is in his 40s, recently divorced, and hates his job, but all of that changes when he's attacked by a redheaded vampire and left for dead in a truckstop bathroom. He soon wakes up in a mansion, surrounded by beautiful women and told he can never go home again. More importantly, he finds that his bones no longer ache, he feels amazing, and he looks like a 20-year-old kid again. That's because he's a Ferin, a Forever Young, gifted with immortality and special abilities unlike anything he ever thought possible.
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Cheesy vampire sex stories
- By Lance on 03-24-21
By: Daniel Pierce
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Misfit Mage
- Fledgling God, Book 1
- By: Michael Taggart
- Narrated by: Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He went searching for a fresh start. He didn’t expect to find unusual friends, fierce enemies, and primal powers. Jason thought that it was the end of his life after being hunted and attacked by a band of ruthless thugs. Instead, he tapped into the source of creation and emerged from his death experience with magical powers. As a new mage, Jason finds himself part of a wonderful - and dangerous - new supernatural world.
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Really wanted to like this one more
- By Zell Oakley on 02-24-20
By: Michael Taggart
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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Keeping It Real
- Quantum Gravity, Book 1
- By: Justina Robson
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 2015 the Quantum Bomb exploded. An accident at an atom-smasher has fractured reality and opened Earth - now called Otopia - to waves of immigration from other dimensions, home to demons, fairies, elves and elementals. It is now 2021 and Lila Black, a special operative condemned to live as a cyborg after losing her limbs on a dangerous mission, has been assigned as bodyguard to Zal, a charismatic elven rock star.
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I made to the end....barely
- By pakkmom on 04-14-09
By: Justina Robson
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Battle Miner
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.
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Great start
- By Austin Verm on 03-21-23
By: Kirk Mason
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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World Keeper: Birth of a World
- World Keeper Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Miller
- Narrated by: Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Join Dale Mitchell, your run-of-the-mill truck driver. Until one day, he accidentally runs someone over. Now, through a series of strange and unforeseeable circumstances, he has become anything but normal. A story of magic, of a history that never was, and of a man trying to go through his day-to-day life while managing the affairs of an entire world. Join Dale Mitchell on his journey.
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Lost interest
- By Silv3r on 11-08-17
By: Justin Miller
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The Uncommon Rider
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Warrior: Monster Slayer
- Monsterworld Saga, Book 1
- By: Sam Ryder
- Narrated by: Soren Gray
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
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Overall
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Sam Ryder's life already sucks, and it's about to get worse when he's fired from his dead-end job as a programmer. He's about to head home to escape into his favorite RPG, Alien Civilization, when he's offered a thrill ride on a death machine by a gorgeous woman straight out of one of his games. Before Sam can say "WTF?", he's been whisked away to a dark world of monsters and goddesses, his body transformed from Outcast to Warrior, the second level on a ladder that may eventually carry him all the way to Demigod.
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for soft headed idiots
- By Chax on 12-06-18
By: Sam Ryder
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The Bleed
- Rupture
- By: Mark Tufo, Chris Philbrook, David Moody
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
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Overall
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The first book in a new series spanning worlds and ages. A war is raging between gods and demons, with an unstoppable interdimensional terror - THE BLEED - destroying everything it touches. From ancient alien civilisations through to modern day London, through to deep space and beyond, nothing and no one is safe. The Bleed wants flesh. It wants to destroy life. It wants to be worshipped.
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Amazing
- By Aaron Starcher on 07-16-20
By: Mark Tufo, and others
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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needs more junkyard and pirates
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In the realm of Isodoro, just two things stand between Alliance lands and the spears and muskets of the orcish hordes: the wizards of the Order and constant infighting amongst the orcs themselves. In the Alliance capital, young Wit has just been promoted from apprentice to full wizard - and saddled with the very unglamorous task of traveling to a distant iron mine to inspect it for fraud. Worse yet, he's partnered with Wa'llach, a drunken dwarven prisoner who's killed more people than most plagues. Yet those skills are about to become very handy.
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Grieving her best friend's recent death, neuroscientist Mariana Pineda’s ready to give up everything to start anew. Even her career—after one last week consulting at a top secret particle accelerator. Except the strangest thing happens: a man stops her…and claims they've met before. Carter Cho knows who she is, why she's mourning, why she's there. And he needs Mariana to remember everything he’s saying.
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Excellent narration & worthwhile, but NOT a romance
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Pre-med student Coral is on vacation in Idaho when something terrible happens. The black cloud is followed by a wildfire and searing heat that lasts for days. She survives deep in a cave but emerges days later to find the world transformed, with blackened trees, an ash-filled sky, and no living creatures stirring - except for her. So begins her desperate journey to find water and food and other survivors...and the answer to the mystery of what happened.
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Mixed feelings about this book
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Long ago, the world fell into twilight, when the great empires of old consumed each other in sorcerous cataclysms. In the south, the Star Towers fell, swallowed by the sea, while the black glaciers descended upon the northern holdfasts, entombing the cities of Min-Ceruth in ice and sorcery. Then from the ancient empire of Menekar, the paladins of Ama came, putting every surviving sorcerer to the sword and cleansing their taint from the land. The pulse of magic slowed, fading like the heartbeat of a dying man. But after a thousand years, it has begun to quicken again.
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Narration is intolerable
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A prophesied king is born, but not all will benefit from his foretold conquests. In a realm where only clerics are permitted to practice magic, Kibure, a mere slave, draws the attention of much more than just his master after wielding an unknown force in a moment of desperation. In a twist of fate, Sindri, the priestess hired to strip Kibure of his power, defies the law, revealing designs of her own. This wayward pair will have to work together if they hope to evade capture at the hands of the Empire's most potent wielders.
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In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
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Armor
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My master created me for his entertainment, leading adventurers to ruin. Betraying them at the last moment, just when their glorious victory was on hand. I have been found again by the newest member of a quartet of dungeon crawlers. Poor fool. This time will be no different. Or does it have to be? Maybe I don't need to spend eternity left in a deep, dark dungeon waiting to devour would-be heroes. Maybe, just maybe, I can take him over and use this new identity to leave and masquerade as an adventurer myself.
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the best part about this book is that it's
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Devastation Class
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The distant future. Earth’s Alliance forces have emerged victorious from a brutal nine-year war with the mysterious Kastazi - a vicious, highly advanced alien race. In the dawn of a new peace, the Alliance Devastation Class starship California embarks on a mission of science and learning with a skeleton crew of seasoned officers, civilian students, and inexperienced military cadets in tow. For JD Marshall and Viv Nixon, gifted cadets and best friends, the mission holds special meaning: It offers an opportunity to prove themselves.
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Read it in print
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Robert
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In 1876, we were called to Savannah, Georgia to help with an infestation of demons. If we'd known what we, my wife Evangeline, and I, were walking into, we'd have run the other way. As it was, we shared tea with a vampire and stepped into a battle we did not understand until it was too late.
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Robert!
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The Riven Wyrde Saga (Omnibus Edition)
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As the son of a mere merchant, Klöss wants nothing more than to pass his trials and join the ranks of the Bjornmen raiders, breaking free of his father’s ambitions and following in the footsteps of his forebears. Times are changing in the Barren Isles. The centuries-old traditions of coastal plunder are making way for outright conquest, and the threat of war is looming.
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A wonderful, original new fantasy.
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What listeners say about The Prince Has No Pants
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kindle Customer
- 01-13-21
Entertaining AF
super funny with some heart felt moments. just relax turn off your brain and enjoy the ride! I love Johnathan mcclain super funny voices and characters. I love it!
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6 people found this helpful
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- Terri Rose
- 06-26-21
great narrator but
great narrator but the plot was slow and a bit distracted. I found the system/devil trite but could listen to the musings of the great white shark all day.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-23-21
beautiful written
this story was lived not heard or listened, seriously sa that it came to an end
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1 person found this helpful
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- Trevor McCoy
- 06-21-21
Fresh Take
Great book with a new take on LitRPG. I enjoyed the larger story at play as well. And who doesn’t love a talking shark.
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- Travis
- 03-04-21
Thank You
Great Story Great Narrator Great Adventure Thank you for writing this story and having it turned into an audio book.
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- Lodram014
- 01-19-21
Short Bus is Best Bus
The beginning is a little goofy, but the story was interesting, the protagonist is clever instead of just being stupidly OP like other litrpg stories, but the best part of the whole book is the characters seem like actual people instead of cardboard cutouts. 9/10 can't wait for the next one.
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- Matthew
- 07-13-21
Killed it, then beat the horse for fun
You should get this little story, if you like breaking the 4th wall, direct humor of a bad situation getting worse, profanity that would make Deadpool spit his milk through his nose, this is the story for you. Most people I've seen either love this or don't. But if you see less then three stars feel free to look for what that person has ever really liked and you'll see why they don't like this story, and why those people don't matter. Treat yourself, I prolly listen to this story between every series I buy since I got it.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-27-21
one of the best!!
this book has slaughtered me multiple times with laughter I don't know if I was just easy or if this was just a really good book but I definitely enjoy.
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- zoko
- 01-13-22
One of the best books you will read
Just buy it, great story, funny, interesting and new take on the litrpg world. Great world building. Very funny and good performance by the narrator
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- David S.
- 01-24-23
Too Short
A lot can happen in 9 hours, but I felt like not enough happened to get me hooked. I liked it and if you got credits to spare, get it. I'm just surprised the book ended where it did. Not a cliff hanger just, ok that's the next hill to climb. Seems like it needed another 4 hours to wrap up the book in a better place, but I guess the next one? If this series was 6 or 7+ books long and the first 2 were on audible plus, I'd probably binge them all, but now I'm afraid the next book won't end well either. I'll wait 4 years and come back. The power the MC has is fun.
Also if you don't like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy... this book has a similar voice. Takes a while to get used to it.
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