The Prince Has No Pants
Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Johnathan McClain
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By:
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Matthew Howry
About this listen
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System.
It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential.
Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
Written by Matthew Howry, better known to Royal Road fans as Salty Waters.
©2020 Matthew Howry (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 36 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Hudson, the virtual world of PrimeVerse isn't all bad. It's beautiful, much nicer than overpopulated Earth. It almost feels like a vacation except for the volatile wildlife, lack of any amenities, and—oh yeah—the inability to log out. Exploring the world, learning his class, and leveling skills is all fun and games until a powerful rogue player with a vendetta shows up to wipe out Hudson and his primitive tribe. Thrust into a conflict he didn't create, Hudson is forced into a cycle of respawning where he learns that even death can be used as a tool. So much for that vacation.
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Takes five hours to tell Karen to shut up.
- By M.B.R. on 08-29-24
By: R.K. Billiau
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Forever Young
- Forever Young, Book 1
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jason Richards is in his 40s, recently divorced, and hates his job, but all of that changes when he's attacked by a redheaded vampire and left for dead in a truckstop bathroom. He soon wakes up in a mansion, surrounded by beautiful women and told he can never go home again. More importantly, he finds that his bones no longer ache, he feels amazing, and he looks like a 20-year-old kid again. That's because he's a Ferin, a Forever Young, gifted with immortality and special abilities unlike anything he ever thought possible.
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Cheesy vampire sex stories
- By Lance on 03-24-21
By: Daniel Pierce
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Misfit Mage
- Fledgling God, Book 1
- By: Michael Taggart
- Narrated by: Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He went searching for a fresh start. He didn’t expect to find unusual friends, fierce enemies, and primal powers. Jason thought that it was the end of his life after being hunted and attacked by a band of ruthless thugs. Instead, he tapped into the source of creation and emerged from his death experience with magical powers. As a new mage, Jason finds himself part of a wonderful - and dangerous - new supernatural world.
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Really wanted to like this one more
- By Zell Oakley on 02-24-20
By: Michael Taggart
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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Battle Miner
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings
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When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.
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Great start
- By Austin Verm on 03-21-23
By: Kirk Mason
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
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Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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World Keeper: Birth of a World
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- By: Justin Miller
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Join Dale Mitchell, your run-of-the-mill truck driver. Until one day, he accidentally runs someone over. Now, through a series of strange and unforeseeable circumstances, he has become anything but normal. A story of magic, of a history that never was, and of a man trying to go through his day-to-day life while managing the affairs of an entire world. Join Dale Mitchell on his journey.
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Lost interest
- By Silv3r on 11-08-17
By: Justin Miller
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The Uncommon Rider
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- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
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Warrior: Monster Slayer
- Monsterworld Saga, Book 1
- By: Sam Ryder
- Narrated by: Soren Gray
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
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Sam Ryder's life already sucks, and it's about to get worse when he's fired from his dead-end job as a programmer. He's about to head home to escape into his favorite RPG, Alien Civilization, when he's offered a thrill ride on a death machine by a gorgeous woman straight out of one of his games. Before Sam can say "WTF?", he's been whisked away to a dark world of monsters and goddesses, his body transformed from Outcast to Warrior, the second level on a ladder that may eventually carry him all the way to Demigod.
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for soft headed idiots
- By Chax on 12-06-18
By: Sam Ryder
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The Bleed
- Rupture
- By: Mark Tufo, Chris Philbrook, David Moody
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
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The first book in a new series spanning worlds and ages. A war is raging between gods and demons, with an unstoppable interdimensional terror - THE BLEED - destroying everything it touches. From ancient alien civilisations through to modern day London, through to deep space and beyond, nothing and no one is safe. The Bleed wants flesh. It wants to destroy life. It wants to be worshipped.
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Amazing
- By Aaron Starcher on 07-16-20
By: Mark Tufo, and others
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A Game of Villains
- World of Karik, Book 1
- By: Anton Emelianov, Sergei Savinov
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
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Our hero entered the store that fateful evening and became involved in a life-or-death game arranged by a mysterious creature. He survived, but instead of being on Earth, he now appeared to be in a different world, with other people who had passed a similarly deadly test. Some made it through by using force, some by using their cunning.... Everyone has their own story, but they all have one thing in common - there are no good people among them.
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I have no idea what this is...
- By Erik on 02-28-20
By: Anton Emelianov, and others
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Infinite Worlds is the most popular VRMMORPG on the market. Its maps are so vast, developer Hard Rock Data utilizes a network of highly advanced artificial intelligences to control it. But it’s not without problems. That’s why Game Masters like Jeff Driscoll have jobs. The downside? He’s not allowed to play the game. Something about conflicts of interest and favoritism. His very boring and tedious job is to help players deal with the occasional bug that slips through the cracks and ensure they enjoy their time playing enough to give a five-star rating.
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Betrayed by those closest to him, Finn Caldwell thought he’d escaped his life of violence and deception. But when a frantic message from his estranged sister draws him into the Realms, the world’s most advanced holographic reality game, Finn is forced to embrace his deadly skills once more. Armed with a mysterious artifact known as a Godhead, Finn becomes the warrior-mage Gryph. Yet, things are not as they seem and to save his sister, he must escape a sentient dungeon by defeating its master the Barrow King.
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An unexpected Dungeon crawl of fun!
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Initialization
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Without so much as a warning, humanity in its entirety was suddenly moved to another dimension. Every person, without exception. But this new world, with all its opportunities and gifts of wondrous abilities, was a stadium. A deadly arena of an unimaginable scale. And humanity was to be its latest gladiators. Every man, woman, and child was given a weapon and ordered to fight. Stuck in this dimension without a way out, only two options existed for the would-be hunters: Fight with monsters to complete the many trials ahead, or perish.
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A good performance does make a book good
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Long ago, the world fell into twilight, when the great empires of old consumed each other in sorcerous cataclysms. In the south, the Star Towers fell, swallowed by the sea, while the black glaciers descended upon the northern holdfasts, entombing the cities of Min-Ceruth in ice and sorcery. Then from the ancient empire of Menekar, the paladins of Ama came, putting every surviving sorcerer to the sword and cleansing their taint from the land. The pulse of magic slowed, fading like the heartbeat of a dying man. But after a thousand years, it has begun to quicken again.
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Narration is intolerable
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Armor
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My master created me for his entertainment, leading adventurers to ruin. Betraying them at the last moment, just when their glorious victory was on hand. I have been found again by the newest member of a quartet of dungeon crawlers. Poor fool. This time will be no different. Or does it have to be? Maybe I don't need to spend eternity left in a deep, dark dungeon waiting to devour would-be heroes. Maybe, just maybe, I can take him over and use this new identity to leave and masquerade as an adventurer myself.
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the best part about this book is that it's
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One Bad Roll: A LitRPG Adventure
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Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.
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Meh
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What listeners say about The Prince Has No Pants
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Austin Smith
- 02-13-21
Only a pre review
I had to stop and write this out before continuing because that was the funniest and most entertaining prologue I have ever heard. It had me trying to control my laughter while driving down the road.
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Always yes LMFAO
Went from 4 star to 3 star, it only took half of the entire book to finally get to anything and after that there is a lot of boring ranting. It's starting to pick up but I feel like it'll slow down again soon, we'll see.
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-21-21
Couldn't stop giggling
I would totally make the author my best friend. He is hilarious. If not him then Short Bus.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Cory
- 01-17-21
Trying to be the best out of the gate but you
Somebody has read enough books and seen the krapp and the good as trying to emulate the could and for the most part it works he is getting it done but at the same time it's a little too drawn out on some of the scenes in the ocean and the dungeon parts as well he needs to have some more pacing story shows a great potential hopefully we'll see it improve in the next book the other problem I see with this is that The publishing company does something that really is a problem in this day and age and that is horrible covers there are rules within the genre when it comes to covers and they break them all which may shew not able to understand well is this a litter APG book I'm looking at or is this A science fiction book They need to do some research on the covers and get their act together as for the The story you can tell this is the author starting out who wants to be the best and has the great potential to be That 1 day Hopefully we will see some improvement in pacing and Story structure in book 2
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- Sarge 07
- 03-24-21
first time a fantasy/sci-fi novel made me...
this book made me remember why I fell in love with this genre in the first place. I actually laughed out loud in several places, but what amazed me the most was the way the author could make me feel so much for a character, so early in the book. I love fantasy books, but this was the first story that made me weep openly in the first 20 minutes for a protagonist I had yet to learn really anything about.
Get this book with your next credit if you want hear the BEST DAMN story, with an inticing narrator, and a truly fun JOURNEY. My top rated book of the past decade.
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- Jan plotner
- 11-15-21
Hilarious
Well worth the listen and the credit . Can't wait for the next books in the series .
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- Cody
- 01-27-21
So let me get this straight
*spoilers*
So, humans are THE cosmic cockroach. Not only do we come back from utter extinction over and over and over again, any planet that gets even a fragment of DNA on it will spring an infinite variety to ecological life that can support us. We also come back resistant to whatever killed us.
We are also an 'enviability' that was brought fourth from the well of possibility to fight against the seeming certancy of 'oblivion' by 'the desire to exist'. They won, because you can only delay an 'enviability', not stop it.
Wow.
Ps I LOVED to 2nd prologue. Especially the 'evil tree people' description.
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- Zero Calvin
- 09-03-21
Such a Great Listen
So many LitRPGs are made as fiction for the nerds that, well, play role playing games of course. The good ones do it in such a way that even the unwashed masses can enjoy them. This was a good one. No, this was a great one. It was genuinely entertaining from start to finish and I found myself hoping beyond hope when I was halfway through that there was a sequel because I did not want it to end. Luckily, there is one, and I'm heading there now. I'll meet you there in a bit.
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- Erin Koepplinger
- 11-01-21
Loved it!
I wasn't sure if I would like this series, but the name of it made me laugh and it was on sale. I'm so glad I did. Johnathon McClain was hilarious as the narrator and the characters were awesome! Shortbus the shark. HaHa!
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- Tiffany Rapplean
- 02-27-22
Highly enjoyable, good brain candy.
This is a thoroughly enjoyable romp that describes what happens when you take a simple world and throw complications into it until it breaks. McClain's voice performance is so good that I almost wanted to go back and downrate other titles just to make his five stars more meaningful. The plotline has a few slow areas, and doesn't always negotiate the weeds of LitRPG with the most finesse, but the result was still a joy to listen to.
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- Kindle Customer
- 05-12-22
really love the humor and story
with humor reminding me of Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy combined with a story on par with the great science fiction stories of the past. The prince has no pants drew me in and made itself the topic of my conversations for quite a while.
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