
The Prince Has No Pants
Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Johnathan McClain
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By:
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Matthew Howry
About this listen
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System.
It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential.
Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
Written by Matthew Howry, better known to Royal Road fans as Salty Waters.
©2020 Matthew Howry (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
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PrimeVerse Omnibus
- A Complete LitRPG Trilogy
- By: R.K. Billiau
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 36 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Hudson, the virtual world of PrimeVerse isn't all bad. It's beautiful, much nicer than overpopulated Earth. It almost feels like a vacation except for the volatile wildlife, lack of any amenities, and—oh yeah—the inability to log out. Exploring the world, learning his class, and leveling skills is all fun and games until a powerful rogue player with a vendetta shows up to wipe out Hudson and his primitive tribe. Thrust into a conflict he didn't create, Hudson is forced into a cycle of respawning where he learns that even death can be used as a tool. So much for that vacation.
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Takes five hours to tell Karen to shut up.
- By M.B.R. on 08-29-24
By: R.K. Billiau
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Forever Young
- Forever Young, Book 1
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Leo Barnabas
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jason Richards is in his 40s, recently divorced, and hates his job, but all of that changes when he's attacked by a redheaded vampire and left for dead in a truckstop bathroom. He soon wakes up in a mansion, surrounded by beautiful women and told he can never go home again. More importantly, he finds that his bones no longer ache, he feels amazing, and he looks like a 20-year-old kid again. That's because he's a Ferin, a Forever Young, gifted with immortality and special abilities unlike anything he ever thought possible.
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Cheesy vampire sex stories
- By Lance on 03-24-21
By: Daniel Pierce
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Misfit Mage
- Fledgling God, Book 1
- By: Michael Taggart
- Narrated by: Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He went searching for a fresh start. He didn’t expect to find unusual friends, fierce enemies, and primal powers. Jason thought that it was the end of his life after being hunted and attacked by a band of ruthless thugs. Instead, he tapped into the source of creation and emerged from his death experience with magical powers. As a new mage, Jason finds himself part of a wonderful - and dangerous - new supernatural world.
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Really wanted to like this one more
- By Zell Oakley on 02-24-20
By: Michael Taggart
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Mortality Bites: Publisher's Pack
- By: Ramy Vance
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Katrina Darling’s only real friend has been murdered. And not just murdered - ritually sacrificed by a serial killer. Kat is sure more death will follow. She should know...she used to be the monster plunging the blade in. Trouble is, after 300 years of being a vampire, Kat has forgotten what it means to be human. One thing she does remember is that friends matter. Now she's determined to find whoever - or whatever - killed her friend before more victims surface. But just as the hunt begins, a mysterious young man discovers exactly what she was.
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Ugh
- By MsNing on 05-12-22
By: Ramy Vance
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Battle Miner
- By: Kirk Mason
- Narrated by: Melanie Hastings
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When I got the letter, I couldn't believe it. When I drove down the highway, I still couldn't believe it. And when I got there? I finally realized I had a purpose: breaking rocks with my crazy new roommates.
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Great start
- By Austin Verm on 03-21-23
By: Kirk Mason
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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World Keeper: Birth of a World
- World Keeper Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Miller
- Narrated by: Stephen Bel Davies
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Join Dale Mitchell, your run-of-the-mill truck driver. Until one day, he accidentally runs someone over. Now, through a series of strange and unforeseeable circumstances, he has become anything but normal. A story of magic, of a history that never was, and of a man trying to go through his day-to-day life while managing the affairs of an entire world. Join Dale Mitchell on his journey.
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Lost interest
- By Silv3r on 11-08-17
By: Justin Miller
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The Uncommon Rider
- By: Sarah Noffke, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The first dragonrider in over a hundred years has been born...and it’s a girl. Never before has a female been chosen to ride a dragon. The Elite, a guild comprised exclusively of dragonriders, is dead according to most. No one has seen a rider in decades. The problems they used to fight overwhelm the world. Dragons are thought to be near extinction. However, the Elite aren’t dead...It’s just that a bunch of crusty old men who do nothing that benefits the world at large are easy to mistake as useless corpses. Sophia Beaufont is about to change all of that.
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Not Much of a Story
- By Small Mountain on 10-01-20
By: Sarah Noffke, and others
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Warrior: Monster Slayer
- Monsterworld Saga, Book 1
- By: Sam Ryder
- Narrated by: Soren Gray
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sam Ryder's life already sucks, and it's about to get worse when he's fired from his dead-end job as a programmer. He's about to head home to escape into his favorite RPG, Alien Civilization, when he's offered a thrill ride on a death machine by a gorgeous woman straight out of one of his games. Before Sam can say "WTF?", he's been whisked away to a dark world of monsters and goddesses, his body transformed from Outcast to Warrior, the second level on a ladder that may eventually carry him all the way to Demigod.
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for soft headed idiots
- By Chax on 12-06-18
By: Sam Ryder
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The Bleed
- Rupture
- By: Mark Tufo, Chris Philbrook, David Moody
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The first book in a new series spanning worlds and ages. A war is raging between gods and demons, with an unstoppable interdimensional terror - THE BLEED - destroying everything it touches. From ancient alien civilisations through to modern day London, through to deep space and beyond, nothing and no one is safe. The Bleed wants flesh. It wants to destroy life. It wants to be worshipped.
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Amazing
- By Aaron Starcher on 07-16-20
By: Mark Tufo, and others
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A Game of Villains
- World of Karik, Book 1
- By: Anton Emelianov, Sergei Savinov
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 15 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Our hero entered the store that fateful evening and became involved in a life-or-death game arranged by a mysterious creature. He survived, but instead of being on Earth, he now appeared to be in a different world, with other people who had passed a similarly deadly test. Some made it through by using force, some by using their cunning.... Everyone has their own story, but they all have one thing in common - there are no good people among them.
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I have no idea what this is...
- By Erik on 02-28-20
By: Anton Emelianov, and others
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3.5 stars
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Meh
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Alice in Deadland was released in November 2011 and quickly became an Amazon.com bestseller. It was followed by its sequel, ‘Through The Looking Glass’ and ‘Off With Their Heads’, the prequel to Alice in Deadland. These three books have been translated into French, German, Portuguese and Turkish, reaching millions of readers worldwide. Now, get all three novels in the Alice in Deadland Trilogy in one single omnibus edition and immerse yourself in this bestselling adventure. Alice in Deadland Civilization as we know it ended more than fifteen years ago, leaving as its legacy barren ...
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Seth is part of a clandestine intergalactic bounty hunting operation, and so is everyone else he works with. The Moonsault Professional Wrestling league fronts a group of super-powered bounty hunters that secretly work for the Intergalactic Federation and have a damn good time while doing it.
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Loved it
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As multiple worlds and dimensions converged, humanity was met with the Unknown. A mysterious System forces it to play its part in a death game, and through the workings of a higher power teleports every human to a deadly Tutorial Zone. In order to save himself and others, Liam must reach his full potential as the last hope. This is the story of a man's desperate attempts to save humanity from certain extinction, as well as find out who's behind it all. He dreams of creating a fairer, more just reality and through the System, finds a ray of hope.
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Those in power do not believe in the possibility of triumph against the will of the gods, and instead squander their time and effort in indulging their needs and desires as the world quickly rots away around them. Mankind’s only hope rests on the shoulders of a man they hate the most. A man who has taken every possible measure, both accepted and forbidden, to attain power. Sungchul Kim, the man who reached the pinnacle of strength, now stands alone against the Calamities. Not because he is a hero, but because of a promise.
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It was alright...
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One Moo'r Plow: Minotaur Farming LitRPG
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Somebody once told a joke. A man ran in place all his life. He worked a job he didn't love for people he couldn't stand. But at the end of the day, the number in his bank account went up. That man got a second chance at life. He woke up in another world, one full of adventures and romances and monsters and gods. And floating above his head, he saw the number "1". So what did he say? "Gosh, I better make the number go up." Not today. Not for this old soul. Reborn as a beast of battle meant to live a short life and die screaming, Garek refuses.
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I liked it
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Disperse
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The lucky ones died first. For the survivors, a bleak march toward annihilation awaits. Earth’s core holds a powerful secret, drawing Elder Races from across the Universe. And they have a game to play. Enter The Cesmial Accords. As unnatural talents awaken within the survivors, they must now face a series of monstrous military waves sent to eradicate humanity. Undermined by his powerful father for falling short of expectations, Lyewax has no choice but to prove himself in Earth’s dark and brutal new reality.
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Feedback from a trucker
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The Problem with Princesses
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On the world of Marconen, your first Break determines the trajectory of your life. Calvin chose magic. Without proper schooling or a mentor, the boy is dragged by the cruel whims of fate across the face of the planet, blending together different schools of magic and powerful abilities to create something new. But there's a deeper secret behind his success. Why was he born an exile from his country? Why is his System so strange, and why does it keep talking to him? As the march of time continues, something evil grows in power across the ocean.
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Good story, good pacing
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The Drop of a Hat
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Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.
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Hat trick
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The Fabric of Reality: A LitRPG Adventure
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In the Prime Kingdoms, the system dominates everything. It dictates one’s strength, skills, and power. It spawns dungeons and guides the actions of their monsters. But every system has its limits, and it’s about to push four oddball adventurers to theirs.
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Far underrated by audible standards.
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Deepwater Dungeon
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It was just another sunny day at the coast when a life was changed forever. What started as a prank for a young girl resulted in the elevation of a crab's existence. Now, wrenched from its happy life at the beach, the crab...HAS AWAKENED. Sir Crabby finds himself thrust into sapience. Into a world filled with creatures both mundane and magical, a world where evil lurks beneath the waves. Join Sir Crabby as he travels beneath the ocean, discovering power, adventuring forth and searching for his young friend as he's thrust into the Eternal Conflict of Arthos.
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Totally delightful.
- By Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore on 11-11-22
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Monster Mansion
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Performance
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I'm the new owner of a magical mansion. This mansion, well, it's not your typical building. It's a dungeon from another world, masquerading as just another private residence in the suburbs. It has enchanted rooms, can craft powerful items, build lethal traps, and produce incredible monsters. And it's my mission to protect and evolve its monstrous inhabitants.
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Why
- By Amazon Customer on 09-29-21
By: Dante King
What listeners say about The Prince Has No Pants
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- Jeffery
- 11-08-21
Narrator and editing were excellent
I bought the story because several of the recent reviews indicated that the humor was ROFLMAO type funny and I love a good laugh. What I got was some half-chuckles. It might just not tickle MY funny bone, but it just wasn't that funny to me. If that was it and the story was great, I'd suck it up and enjoy a great story. *However*, the writing was a bit stiff and forced. This was easy to overlook because the narrator did a great job which minimized some of the stiff writing. The story itself was kinda of interesting, but I just didn't find myself losing myself in the story. It wasn't horrible, and if you like this genre and can't find anything else interesting, it's worth a read, but I wouldn't spend a full credit on this. Look for a sale. I do feel that this story has a LOT OF POTENTIAL and with this narrator to distract from the stiff and clunky writing style, the next book may be worth reading. I'll pop it into my wish list and see if it comes up on a 2-for-1 sale or a $5 sale. Otherwise, I can't see myself continuing this series.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 02-21-21
Everything I could have hoped and dreamed!
I'm not one to write reviews on books often, I have over 220 books in my library and maybe 5 reviews, but this one really deserves an actual review.
*TLDR: Really F*ckin' good book!*
Quite a few years ago I read a writing prompt about Humans being the "space orcs" of the universe (eating anything, living in temperatures ranging from -40 - 120 degrees F, rapid reproduction, etc) and this book takes that to a whole 'nother level. This book had me literally slapping my knee laughing hysterically within the first 30-60 minutes, and then bringing me to actual tears. I don't know exactly how to describe this book, but it spoke to me on a different level, I finished it in almost one sitting, and I couldn't sleep when I had to go to bed, because I wanted to continue the "damn adventure".
Let's try to go a little deeper into breaking down the book without any spoilers.
Comedy: A literal knee slapper, but maybe my humor is different to some, I would give an example, but the jokes are so "out of no-where" that I don't want to ruin it [5/5]
Emotional Investment: I actually teared up at one point that you will understand when you get the book. [5/5]
World Building: There isn't too much detail given about things we don't need or want to know, but anything that has any bearing on the story is explained in enough detail without giving too much information as to ruin the "alien" feeling of the "extraterrestrials". [5/5]
Story: The great thing about this book, is that there isn't really a storyline to follow, everything just kind of leads from one thing to another without a real goal, because Ben doesn't have one (other than to survive) yet. This makes sense because at this point, there is no "main quest line" and he is just trying to figure out what to do next to survive in this new world. [5/5]
Performance: Johnathan McClain does a Fantastic job of reading this book, everything makes sense when he reads it, I didn't have any points where I couldn't understand what was going on due to incorrect/inconsistent narration. The characters were individualized and diverse, and their voices and emotions matched their descriptions and characteristics. [5/5]
Overall: Everything comes together to make this my new favorite book I have purchased, the laughter, the emotion, and sheer insanity of this book makes me proud to be Human, [5/5]
Conclusion: I loved the book, I can't wait for the second, and I will be getting it as soon as it is released. If you are reading this and love LitRPG, SyFy Fantasy, and irreverent comedy, stop whatever you are doing, and purchase this book Right Now! You can thank me later ;)
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3 people found this helpful
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- TheOtherDude91
- 08-01-21
Narrators performance saved this book
This in one of the those rare time when if it wasn't for the narrators enthusiasm the book would be utter garbage. In this book there is a whole lot of fluff and no bang, the narrator made it fun. But if I were to read this book myself I feel like I wouldn't have made it past the 3rd chapter.
Don't get this book if you're looking for an OP MC or tons of action. There is barely any action in this, and when there is the veiw is aimed at something else completely off to the side, and then we'll get the aftermath of the battle.
The MC does "fight" a little, but it's more like "oh, well that's convenient" type of fighting than actually throwing a punch or swinging a sword. He uses his very convenient and mcguffin like tool to fix every issue, so that's nice.
Still a fun listen, might get the second book as long as the same narrator sticks around. True ratong: 3.5/5
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- McLeod
- 12-08-21
hilariously brilliant
not only was the voice acting phenomenal, the reader kept me in stitches with his awesome range and character voices but the book itself was awesome.
The different ideas introduced in this book are so cool and you will not regret picking this one up.
I'm right onto the next one myself :D
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-01-21
nice but rather short
If this were more of a complete story, and if the prologue didn't drag on for far far far to long it wpuld be a 5 star book easily.
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- Chris
- 03-11-21
Assam.
Was one of the best book's. i have listened too. finished book 1 starting book 2. keepe theme coming please.
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- TakeMyTai
- 06-06-22
It's a bit meandering, but...
I know the slow pace is due to the world building that is necessary when you don't dump a lot of exposition right at the gate. I hope Short Bus is reunited soon.
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- Ellis_969
- 02-14-23
Middle of the pile
Loved chapter 3...felt the book had a strong possibility of epic saga but it went down hill for me...though humorous...I expected more..
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- Justin
- 03-08-23
Fun standard litrpg romp
Fairly standard plot of getting sucked into a game world, but done well with some great laughs along the way.
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- Audry
- 10-27-23
Very Entertaining
Pretty humorous. If you like this story, you will also like Hard Luck Hank Series.
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