This Quest Is Broken!
This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Tell
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By:
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J. P. Valentine
About this listen
The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection.
Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level-one messenger girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that goddamned bread.
There just might be a few side quests along the way.
This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.
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- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 70 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Damien nearly ended the world. Now, his mistake might be the only thing that can save it. Good things come to those who wait. Damien Vale didn’t, and he ended up bound to an Eldritch creature from beyond the reaches of space. It has lived since the dawn of time, seen the world born and destroyed countless times, and wants to be called Henry. Unusual companion or not, Damien was still determined to go to a mage college and study magic.
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Good but ending felt rushed
- By cameron on 10-22-24
By: Actus
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Greenways Goblins
- Resurrection Quest, Book 1
- By: Daniel Schinhofen
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When freakish storms envelope the Earth, people start disappearing without a trace. Wild theories abound: Is it aliens, spontaneous combustion, or perhaps quantum entanglement? The only ones who might know are those who have vanished. An average group of gamers is setting up to start a new campaign. The storms rage across the world, but they only care about the game they are about to start. Little do they know that they would be next to disappear from the face of the Earth.
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excellent
- By Rida Son on 03-13-20
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Circuit World
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For three years, Rixon Caldwell has been the most lethal gamer online. He is undefeated in international play, and his stream is viewed by millions of avid fans each and every day. When an unsigned email arrives inviting him to beta test the newest, most immersive MMO ever, Circuit World, he discounts the offer out of hand. For him, offers like this one are a daily event. He’s a brand, and charity is not his default setting. When he moves to delete the email, his laptop screen vanishes, replaced with a simple question: Do you accept our challenge?
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they should let you know....
- By Adam Dintelman on 10-07-19
By: Daniel Pierce
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Heresy of Dragons
- By: Erik Reid
- Narrated by: Chris Graves
- Length: 13 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Not every man can handle a magitech gauntlet that speaks in floating silver text, or a handful of women with unique...needs. I’m not every man. When a bad blind date got worse - like, interdimensional lightning storm worse - I woke up to a realm of dragon women, magical kobolds, and a playful monkey girl with a painful secret. I also accidentally (totally on purpose) stole an ancient artifact in the form of a black gauntlet that bonded with my body and unlocked various new abilities. So what’s the catch? The glove wasn’t meant for me. It was meant for the fabled Hero of Silura.
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Those low reviews are kooks, seriously you guys
- By Gavin Markowitz on 01-16-20
By: Erik Reid
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Blood Mage
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woods, Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Milton was your average delivery driver until he had a run in with a dying fairy who imbued him with all his magical power. Now Milton can literally tear the blood out of his enemies with a gesture of his hand, every women he meets is attracted to his magical charm, and the powerful Fae Guild wants to pay him a bunch of money to fight evil.
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Are you computer literate? be prepared for cringe!
- By David on 01-27-20
By: Logan Jacobs
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Dissonance
- A LitRPG Adventure (Unbound Book 1)
- By: Nicoli Gonnella
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 26 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Felix's life on Earth had become a series of dead-end jobs, ruined relationships, and rotating apartments smaller than most postage stamps. By all accounts, even his own, he was a coward. Too afraid to move forward, to take risks. Yet when given the chance to choose between risking his life or walking away from a deadly encounter, he didn't hesitate. Moments before his untimely demise, Felix was snatched from earth and thrust into a magical world known only as "The Continent". Empowered by the "System", he learns that he can strengthen himself through combat and dedication.
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I don't think my words can do this justice
- By Joseph on 05-09-22
By: Nicoli Gonnella
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Forging Divinity
- The War of Broken Mirrors, Book 1
- By: Andrew Rowe
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Some say that in the city of Orlyn, godhood is on sale to the highest bidder. Thousands flock to the city each year, hoping for a chance at immortality. Lydia Hastings is a knowledge sorcerer, capable of extracting information from anything she touches. When she travels to Orlyn to validate the claims of the local faith, she discovers a conspiracy that could lead to a war between the world's three greatest powers. At the focal point is a prisoner who bears a striking resemblance to the long-missing leader of the pantheon she worships.
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OK magic system, but everything else is flat
- By osuushi on 03-22-19
By: Andrew Rowe
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Tides of Magic
- By: James C. Williams
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 27 hrs and 9 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Hal Emden hears about a contest that offers winners the chance to test the newest game from his favorite designer on a cutting-edge, unprecedented virtual reality system, he has to try his luck. Surprisingly, he wins. A full week, all expenses paid, to play the fully immersive game Tides of Magic Online. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, it's not like Elwin, the creator of the game and series, is an insane psychopath intent on trapping them in his virtual world for purposes unknown...right?
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OP'd to the MAX!!
- By Anonymous User on 12-28-20
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Irrelevant Jack
- By: Prax Venter
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Andrea Parsneau
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jack is violently pulled into a game-like universe and dumped into a seaside town on the brink of destruction. When the people of Blackmoor Cove begin to ask about his combat role, Jack discovers his odd Hero Class and finds that parts of his game interface are riddled with exposed coding errors. He quickly learns that the only way the town can grow and push back the unknown substance threatening to consume it is if brave Heroes venture into an infinitely high, ever-changing tower, kill bizarre monsters for their equipment drops, and then deposit those items into a special chest.
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Tower-climbing, town-building dream game
- By Ben on 10-15-19
By: Prax Venter
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The Adventurers Guild
- The Adventurers Guild Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Zack Loran Clark, Nick Eliopulos
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In one of the last cities standing after the world fell to monsters, best friends Zed Kagari and Brock Dunderfel have high hopes for the future. Zed desperately wishes to join the ranks of the Mages Guild, where his status as Freestone's only half-elf might finally be an asset. Brock, the roguishly handsome son of merchants, is confident he'll be welcomed into the ranks of the Merchants Guild. But just as it seems the boys' dreams have come true, their lives take a startling turn...and they find themselves members of the perilous Adventurers Guild.
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Well written and well read.
- By Reviewer on 05-22-19
By: Zack Loran Clark, and others
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Stolen Lives
- Underhill Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Keith Ahrens
- Narrated by: Angelo Di Loreto
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Caleb reported for his normal shift, he never expected to go from the front seat of his ambulance to a bloody battlefield in a medieval Fey Realm. Kidnapped and beaten unconscious, he wakes up with a concussion and a fresh tattoo. While this might not be totally unusual for him, having the tattoo project the image of his stats and equipment like an old school tabletop RPG kind of is.
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First-Rate, First-Responder LitRPG
- By Phillip on 09-17-20
By: Keith Ahrens
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Legendary Rule
- Legendary Rule, Book 1
- By: Bruce Sentar
- Narrated by: Brandon Utah
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ajax Demos finds himself lost in society. Graduating shortly after artificial intelligence is allowed to enter the workforce, he can’t get his career off the ground. He clings to what he believes a responsible adult should pursue, but it just isn’t in the cards. As his last hope for a steady paycheck disappears new opportunities open. Ajax gets a chance to play a brand new Immersive Reality game. Things aren't as they seem. Mega Corps hover over what appears to be a simple game. Two unlikely women hiding their real identities join his party....
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Interesting concept but the MC noob mistakes *smh*
- By Renegadescribe on 10-20-20
By: Bruce Sentar
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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You have been chosen by our Illustrious Overlord to take part in The Rules: a no holds barred death-match, to see who among you is the most powerful. You have been transported here against your will. The only way back is to reach level 100 and defeat the final boss. Please do be careful with your life, as it is the only one you’ll get. Have a pleasant match, and remember, we’re always watching....
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Author needs a thicker skin.
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Dungeon Tour Guide: A LitRPG Adventure
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After Lucas dies during a freak explosion, divine intervention sees him brought back to life with the power to control a new dungeon. There are just a couple of issues: his old body is bound to his dungeon, and the craziness of what he thought was his final act is only getting weirder. When he sees newbie adventurers entering his dungeon, though, he decides to help them survive and complete their quests. After all, adventuring is a process, and someone needs to guide the rookies.
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Great dungeon LitRPG
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Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
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Fun
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Off to Be the Wizard
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
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Through Adversity: A LitRPG Adventure
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Juniper Smith was always a creator of worlds rather than the one who walked within them…until now. Somehow, the tables have turned in the most dramatic way possible. Juniper finds himself in a world filled with the wildest fantasies a mind could come up with, and his fingerprints are all over it.
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Easily one of the best litrpgs/rational fictions you will read
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What listeners say about This Quest Is Broken!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Randall
- 05-24-21
Hilarious adventure with a great story
This book was hilarious, fun, and awesome! It was a great adventure with lots of jokes and puns, and I loved the characters. Going right now to get the second book.
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- Damien
- 12-09-21
Really good!
Thought I’d take a chance on a new author and a new narrator in the recent sale. Premise sounded fun.
It was most excellent fun. Charming and enough innovation to keep you hooked. I’ll be finishing this series. Has stats but isn’t heavy-handed about it.
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- dori
- 04-20-22
Good audiobook
I loved it! Thought it was a little weird a man was narrating when the main character is female but I really enjoyed his preform.
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- Kathleen
- 12-19-22
Thoroughly Enjoyed
I like this type of world where there’s a game system in place already. So you don’t have people coming in from another world, trying to figure out the system. Instead you’re learning about characters who’ve grown up with the system and are trying to work it to their advantage
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- j d
- 04-08-21
never knew a fetch quest to be so hard.
loved it, eve is the punky little sister we want to root for, and cant tell you how i enjoy being continuously surprised by this book.
voice acting was strong and they did a very good job humanizing the characters.
good plot and great jokes.
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7 people found this helpful
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- James K
- 06-29-21
good book
its a good book and good start to a series but people are right like why is everything in the book super gay lol like everything
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1 person found this helpful
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- FOSTERBDAV66
- 07-02-21
Fun and Moves Along Nicely
A quest for a loaf of bread. A legendary quest for a loaf of bread. What's so difficult about buying a loaf of bread? Everything, when everywhere you go, something conspires against you!
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- Shannon Winthrop
- 07-10-21
story mechanics, character, all pluses
I didn't even know this genre existed! Love the level up system. Found myself waiting on edge for the event that would result in some type of upgrade. Love all the characters and the character development. as the stars suggest, just love it.
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- Chris Evelyn
- 05-23-21
great story overall. real funny.
I'll start by saying, overall, this is an excellent story. I hadn't been quite sure when I first bought it. The sample didn't really do much more than show me that the narrator was good at his job. The brief description sounded like it might be fun, and so I took a shot in the dark.
Overall, I'm glad I did. The story does a great job at keeping you on the edge of your seat, It's at moments blindingly funny, while still having lots of action. The 12 hours seemed to fly by.
I will say this, there is a moment perhaps 8 - 9 hours into the story, where the story gets a little odd. I'm not even really sure if I can point out what the problem is. i just know that for nearly 90 minutes perhaps 3 hours before the story ends, I went from not being able to put the book down, to having to force myself to continue, only for the story to pick up again.
It ended strong, and I'm looking forward to the second book, but there was an issue there near the end.
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- Cory
- 07-01-21
If you like another stupid trilogy then you'll
Yet in the vein of another stupid trilogy this story turns the genre on its side and shakes it for everything it's worth it's a good rump that respects The genre Is Give a twist of a sense of humor and pokes fun hide everything Just the right way
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