
This Quest Is Broken!
This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Tell
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By:
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J. P. Valentine
About this listen
The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection.
Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level-one messenger girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that goddamned bread.
There just might be a few side quests along the way.
This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.
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- By: Erin Ampersand
- Narrated by: Laurie Catherine Winkel
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A few minutes ago, Meghan Moretti's biggest concern was getting the kids' athletic clothes washed in time for practice this evening. Now, it seems that Earth has been forced into participating in some high-stakes intergalactic reality television. All electrical wiring has been slagged, and most combustibles neutralized. Some kind of evil space rodents are appearing on the front lawn, too.
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just eating no review here.
- By Cory A. Marshall on 04-03-23
By: Erin Ampersand
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The Idle System
- A LitRPG series: 1-4 Box Set
- By: Pegaz
- Narrated by: Roman Howell
- Length: 37 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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After saying goodbye to his life on earth, he never expected to find a brand new world still awaiting for him. One where immortals flew through the clouds and ancient evils hid below the surface. One where fables, myths, and legends filled every corner. One where he could finally start anew. Now, however, John is about to learn a valuable lesson, for any place humanity rules will always be the same - a domain where sin and ambition can only be tamed by power. Will he have the strength to walk this road on his own or will he be unable to heal the old wounds hidden deep within his heart?
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Don’t apologize for making a powerful character
- By MathMan on 01-23-20
By: Pegaz
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Something
- Full Murderhobo, Book 1
- By: Dakota Krout
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Luke is an apprentice leather worker, training with his family to one day take over the business. He and his friends Andre, Taylor, and Zed have known each other forever, and swear that nothing will ever tear apart their friendship. Then the Royal Decree comes. With the Dynasty of Dogs invading, and strange monsters appearing in the Hollow Kingdom, a draft has been implemented. Everyone 17 or older is required to be tested for "Potential". If they have it, they will join the mysterious and renowned Ascender Corps. If not, they will be drafted into the Legion as a forced recruit.
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Ridiculous
- By John on 11-04-20
By: Dakota Krout
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The Hedge Wizard
- A LitRPG / Progression Fantasy Adventure (The Hedge Wizard, Book 1)
- By: Alex Maher
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Legends speak of wizards with the power to rival Gods. To Hump, it’s just a story. Apprenticed to a wandering wizard, he grew up on the road, following the coin on whatever quest it took them. He always believed his master was just an ordinary hedge wizard, until the old man suddenly died, and his book of spells bound to Hump’s soul. Knowing no other life, Hump takes up his master’s staff and heads out alone into a world of dungeons and monsters. So begins the path of The Wanderer. The White Flame. The Hedge Wizard.
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I'm so torn on this.
- By Joseph on 06-27-22
By: Alex Maher
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Apocalypse: Generic System
- The Stitched Worlds, Book 1
- By: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeb Trapper tried to kill himself. The gun jammed. Two months later, the vet is now participating in underground trials of ecstasy to treat his PTSD. Everything seems to be going great until Jeb is teleported into a tutorial, along with everyone else on Earth. Now, he has to choose the level of difficulty. There's just one problem: He's high as a kite, and nothing seems impossible.
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It was great, till the end
- By Donovan Mullen on 08-23-21
By: Macronomicon
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The Houndsman
- A Base-Building LitRPG Adventure (The Houndsman, Book 1)
- By: J Pal
- Narrated by: Jack Voraces
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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After serving two terms in the Iron Army's Building Division, Flint Woodson is done with it all. With his four-legged friend at his side, he wants nothing more than to find a remote settlement, work as a guard or a builder, and find a wife. He doesn't care about filling his remaining nodes with Skill Stones or wasting his life looking for a Class. Wyldbloods like him aren't destined for greatness. But the realm is at war. The Fae are sick of humankind violating their treaties, their Wyld armies taking to the fields.
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I truly tried
- By Heather on 09-13-22
By: J Pal
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Rise of the Devourer: Voidborne
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Krazekode
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Noah Brown has a gift for fighting. Unfortunately, punching things doesn't pay the bills, at least until he died and an Eldritch god found his soul. The encounter brings him to a new world, summoned by bloody cultists. He's got nothing but the shirt on his back and a strange item in his system menu.
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Needs a new narrator
- By E Woods on 12-07-23
By: Krazekode
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Advent of Eternity
- A LitRPG Adventure (Shattered System Book 1)
- By: Actus
- Narrated by: Jeremy Frazier
- Length: 16 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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A clock hangs over the head of every mortal. Counting down to the inescapable day that the Goddess of Death claims them. That is the way of the world. The natural cycle of mortals. The Gods, however, were said to live for forever. To exist so far outside of the natural laws of the universe that even their crimes can't be punished. But Knell Coba, at great cost, realizes this is nothing but another lie.
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Pretty freaking great
- By Joseph on 04-20-23
By: Actus
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Reincarnation
- A Xianxia Cultivation Series (Threads of Fate, Book 1)
- By: Michael Head
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Jim was thrust back in time, returned to his body at the moment he started cultivating. Anyone else might have given up, but Jim doesn’t have that option. He’s already made the mistakes that doomed him in his first life, and he knows what to do to make it right. Jim wants to right the wrongs of the past...or future? All while a pair of angry gods torture him through lack of sleep.
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The World I never knew
- By Yannick on 02-23-21
By: Michael Head
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Mageling
- Millennial Mage, Book 1
- By: J.L. Mullins
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 15 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Tala had to fight tooth and nail in the Magic Academy to forge a path to power that was her own. She knows it’s her duty to use that power to serve humanity, defending them against the creatures of the untamable wilds. However, she skipped a few steps in her education, like apprenticing to someone who actually knows what they’re doing. Now, Tala has to balance learning as fast as she can with paying off the veritable mountain of debt the Magic Academy dropped on her shoulders for the opportunity; not to mention staying alive.
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Main Character Is Almost A Mary Sue, But She's Not
- By O-C on 07-28-23
By: J.L. Mullins
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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The Whispering Crystals Omnibus: Books 1-3 of a LitRPG Adventure
- By: H.C. Mills
- Narrated by: Erica Maity
- Length: 38 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Slinging hotdogs may not be the most glorious side gig, but hey, if it paid for college, that’s all Emma could ask for. And let’s be real, of all the crowds in the world, what were the odds that Comic-Con would get Portalled next? Emma really should’ve known better. Once again, the universe conspires against her, and now she’s stuck in a world where the laws of physics don’t seem to apply, and even the grass is trying to kill her. She better pay close heed to the Artificial Intelligence guiding her and make some new friends fast, because out here, it’s thrive or die.
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Quite a rush and heart stopping story
- By Jim on 11-11-24
By: H.C. Mills
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Awakening: A LitRPG Adventure
- A Dragon Idol's Reincarnation Tale, Book 1
- By: AbyssRaven
- Narrated by: Erin Bateman
- Length: 20 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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If waking up in a new world isn't bad enough, Hestia starts her new life as a small, newborn dragon in a hostile forest filled with vicious monsters. With status screens obscuring her vision, her first task is to escape two hungry kobolds wanting some grilled lizard for breakfast. Equipped with fragmented memories from her past life and the gamelike mechanics of her new reality, Hestia must face trials, beasts, bosses, and more as she grows in size and power.
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Not enough dragon or idol
- By ajax on 08-08-23
By: AbyssRaven
Hilarious adventure with a great story
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It was most excellent fun. Charming and enough innovation to keep you hooked. I’ll be finishing this series. Has stats but isn’t heavy-handed about it.
Really good!
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Good audiobook
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Thoroughly Enjoyed
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I saw a few negative reviews about the humor and unusual swearing. And I feel it's like any comedy you'd either hate it or love it. The story mostly takes itself seriously, so don't take those reviews close to heart, you might enjoy this book so give it a try!
Cinnamon Bun meets The Prince has No Pants
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If you are a Christian, this book made me cringe so many times with the God's da* . I'd rather read swearing than that [which there is plenty of]. But the God's Da**it. So so often ruined the book for me and I won't be buying the second one even though I liked the story.
Love it and hate it
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Quirky and fun (no spoilers)
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its a fun story and i found it super entertaining.
cant wait to see what they do with the world building.
not sure why people had an issue
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Good story, but I was not laughing much
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voice acting was strong and they did a very good job humanizing the characters.
good plot and great jokes.
never knew a fetch quest to be so hard.
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