
This Quest Is Broken!
This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Tell
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By:
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J. P. Valentine
About this listen
The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection.
Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
Wouldn’t that be ridiculous?
Eve can’t even begin to guess how or why she’s come by such an absurd life goal, nor how a level-one messenger girl is supposed to complete anything labeled as legendary, but at least she can be sure of one thing. No matter how many wolves or goblins attack, no matter how many speeding tickets she racks up, no matter how many bakeries spontaneously combust as she steps into town, one way or another, Eve is going to get that goddamned bread.
There just might be a few side quests along the way.
This book contains game elements, good jokes, bad jokes, worse jokes, and language strong enough to lift weights. Please enjoy.
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Story
Slinging hotdogs may not be the most glorious side gig, but hey, if it paid for college, that’s all Emma could ask for. And let’s be real, of all the crowds in the world, what were the odds that Comic-Con would get Portalled next? Emma really should’ve known better. Once again, the universe conspires against her, and now she’s stuck in a world where the laws of physics don’t seem to apply, and even the grass is trying to kill her. She better pay close heed to the Artificial Intelligence guiding her and make some new friends fast, because out here, it’s thrive or die.
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Quite a rush and heart stopping story
- By Jim on 11-11-24
By: H.C. Mills
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Maid to Conquer: The Complete LitRPG Adventure
- By: Wolfe Locke, Jordan Mays
- Narrated by: Kristiana Rice
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to a realm where the nobility lounges and servants toil, but where one maid, Elara, disrupts the status quo. If you're a fan of adventure, office humor, and fantasy, you'll feel right at home in this series. Starting with 'Maid to Order,' Elara stumbles upon a rare Class Orb and transforms into a [Battle Maid-Seamstress], kicking off her journey from humble castle cleaner to unexpected revolutionary.
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More family friendly Monty Python.
- By Colton Bennett on 07-21-24
By: Wolfe Locke, and others
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Advent of Eternity
- A LitRPG Adventure (Shattered System Book 1)
- By: Actus
- Narrated by: Jeremy Frazier
- Length: 16 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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A clock hangs over the head of every mortal. Counting down to the inescapable day that the Goddess of Death claims them. That is the way of the world. The natural cycle of mortals. The Gods, however, were said to live for forever. To exist so far outside of the natural laws of the universe that even their crimes can't be punished. But Knell Coba, at great cost, realizes this is nothing but another lie.
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Pretty freaking great
- By Joseph on 04-20-23
By: Actus
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The Godking's Legacy
- By: Virlyce
- Narrated by: Mare Trevathan
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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A legendary sword is left behind by his master, the Godking. Trapped for millennia, the sword's spirit awaits the day he'll be set free. Will his new master be worthy of inheriting the Godking's legacy?
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Most Implausible Idiocy You'll Ever Love
- By Dustin on 06-15-18
By: Virlyce
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The Weirdest Noob
- By: Arthur Stone, Mikhail Yagupov - translator
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Something quite odd is happening in Second World - the planet's foremost MMORPG. Something that's causing alliances to be broken, and friendships, forgotten. A worthless low-level mine becomes the stage of vicious battles, its burned ruins suddenly contested by the game's toughest clans. Every border is controlled, and every road in the province blocked off. The weak players and NPCs alike are subjected to non-stop violent raids courtesy of Eastern invaders. And the strong are scouring the virtual world for the culprit - the weirdest noob the game has ever seen.
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Turned out to be worth it
- By Dom on 02-03-18
By: Arthur Stone, and others
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Through Adversity: A LitRPG Adventure
- Worth the Candle, Book 1
- By: Alexander Wales
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 19 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Juniper Smith was always a creator of worlds rather than the one who walked within them…until now. Somehow, the tables have turned in the most dramatic way possible. Juniper finds himself in a world filled with the wildest fantasies a mind could come up with, and his fingerprints are all over it.
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Easily one of the best litrpgs/rational fictions you will read
- By Ari on 03-06-22
By: Alexander Wales
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Phantasm: An Isekai LitRPG
- Phantasm, Book 1
- By: Christopher Hall, Maxlex
- Narrated by: Katherine Littrell
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The Worldwalkers of legend are beings touched by Fate and transported from another realm, tasked with a grand destiny. Traditionally, they prevent great cataclysms or the fall of empires. Whatever their undertaking, their appearance brings about momentous change. It’s been some two hundred years since the last Great Game, but the time has come again. Seven are chosen, and the game begins once more . . .
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This is isekai done right.
- By Kindle Customer on 02-18-23
By: Christopher Hall, and others
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Something
- Full Murderhobo, Book 1
- By: Dakota Krout
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Luke is an apprentice leather worker, training with his family to one day take over the business. He and his friends Andre, Taylor, and Zed have known each other forever, and swear that nothing will ever tear apart their friendship. Then the Royal Decree comes. With the Dynasty of Dogs invading, and strange monsters appearing in the Hollow Kingdom, a draft has been implemented. Everyone 17 or older is required to be tested for "Potential". If they have it, they will join the mysterious and renowned Ascender Corps. If not, they will be drafted into the Legion as a forced recruit.
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Ridiculous
- By John on 11-04-20
By: Dakota Krout
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Wrong Divinity
- Oh Sh*t! I F*cking Hate Spiders! (Arachnomancer, Book 1)
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall, Reba Buhr
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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Reminds me of "Mayor of Noobtown"
- By R.C. on 03-25-24
By: Dustin Tigner
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The Rules: The Complete Series
- A LitRPG Epic
- By: Aaron Oster
- Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
- Length: 30 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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You have been chosen by our Illustrious Overlord to take part in The Rules: a no holds barred death-match, to see who among you is the most powerful. You have been transported here against your will. The only way back is to reach level 100 and defeat the final boss. Please do be careful with your life, as it is the only one you’ll get. Have a pleasant match, and remember, we’re always watching....
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Author needs a thicker skin.
- By S.N. on 01-08-21
By: Aaron Oster
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Overworld: A Fantasy Post-Apocalyptic Story
- Dragon Mage Saga, Book 1
- By: Rohan M. Vider
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland, Dansare Marks
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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A magic apocalypse. A new world. Elves, orcs, dragons. And at the center of it all: the Dragon Mage. Earth is doomed and mankind has been exiled to Overworld, a strange world ruled by the Trials. Jamie Sinclair is a young man with unique gifts, and it falls to him to find a way for humanity to survive Earth’s destruction and build a new home in Overworld. Can Jamie save mankind? The Trials is no game. Join Jamie as he struggles through its brutal challenges while wrestling with his new magics and Overworld’s game-like dynamics.
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Book is good ...but
- By CDM860 on 05-28-21
By: Rohan M. Vider
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Only Villains Do That: An Isekai Adventure
- Only Villains Do That, Book 1
- By: D. D. Webb
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 21 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?
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The Dark Lord... is a Healer?
- By R.C. on 06-13-24
By: D. D. Webb
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Rise to Omniscience Books 1-5: Pinnacle Kings Arc
- Rise to Omniscience Box Set, Book 1
- By: Aaron Oster
- Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
- Length: 65 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Morgan's life is not easy. Growing up on the streets of City Four, he is constantly shunned by the other citizens. Morgan doesn't mind being ignored. What he does mind, though, are the constant beatings from the city guards due to his friendship with Sarah, the city lord's only daughter. Lord Simon wants him dead, but the laws of the kingdom are on Morgan’s side, and even the guards won't kill him just for being seen near his manor. Morgan’s time is running out, though. Lord Simon has deep pockets, and his last visit to the manor may just have put him over the edge.
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Extremely Weak
- By BeauFLA on 08-19-22
By: Aaron Oster
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Curious Beginnings
- A LitRPG Adventure (Salvos, Book 1)
- By: V.A. Lewis
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The Netherworld: it is a hellish landscape inhabited only by demons. Joining the ranks of newborn demons, Salvos is thrown into the violent, anarchy-ruled landscape of that world. To survive, she will have to learn, she will have to adapt, and she will have to evolve. She will gain experience to reach new Levels of power. Her curiosity aids her but her pride could be her fall. It is the nature of the Netherworld to avoid or conquer any threats faced. After all, the law of evolution is survival of the fittest, and Salvos is a survivor.
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Came for the narrator, stayed for the story!!!
- By Julie Ann on 06-15-21
By: V.A. Lewis
What listeners say about This Quest Is Broken!
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- Randall
- 05-24-21
Hilarious adventure with a great story
This book was hilarious, fun, and awesome! It was a great adventure with lots of jokes and puns, and I loved the characters. Going right now to get the second book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Damien
- 12-09-21
Really good!
Thought I’d take a chance on a new author and a new narrator in the recent sale. Premise sounded fun.
It was most excellent fun. Charming and enough innovation to keep you hooked. I’ll be finishing this series. Has stats but isn’t heavy-handed about it.
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- dori
- 04-20-22
Good audiobook
I loved it! Thought it was a little weird a man was narrating when the main character is female but I really enjoyed his preform.
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- Kathleen
- 12-19-22
Thoroughly Enjoyed
I like this type of world where there’s a game system in place already. So you don’t have people coming in from another world, trying to figure out the system. Instead you’re learning about characters who’ve grown up with the system and are trying to work it to their advantage
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- j d
- 04-08-21
never knew a fetch quest to be so hard.
loved it, eve is the punky little sister we want to root for, and cant tell you how i enjoy being continuously surprised by this book.
voice acting was strong and they did a very good job humanizing the characters.
good plot and great jokes.
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7 people found this helpful
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- James K
- 06-29-21
good book
its a good book and good start to a series but people are right like why is everything in the book super gay lol like everything
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1 person found this helpful
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- FOSTERBDAV66
- 07-02-21
Fun and Moves Along Nicely
A quest for a loaf of bread. A legendary quest for a loaf of bread. What's so difficult about buying a loaf of bread? Everything, when everywhere you go, something conspires against you!
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- Kirill Borzov
- 12-22-21
Cinnamon Bun meets The Prince has No Pants
I jumped to this book after listening to The Prince has No Pants and it was right up my alley! If you enjoyed listening to the absurd and funny Prince then you'll probably also enjoy this book. The narrator did a fantastic job with this book, making it fun, engaging, and emotional throughout the whole journey.
I saw a few negative reviews about the humor and unusual swearing. And I feel it's like any comedy you'd either hate it or love it. The story mostly takes itself seriously, so don't take those reviews close to heart, you might enjoy this book so give it a try!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Gramma
- 02-16-22
Love it and hate it
I really really enjoyed the story, the performance, the character bu8lding but...
If you are a Christian, this book made me cringe so many times with the God's da* . I'd rather read swearing than that [which there is plenty of]. But the God's Da**it. So so often ruined the book for me and I won't be buying the second one even though I liked the story.
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- Steve Reif
- 09-21-21
Quirky and fun (no spoilers)
Occasionally, I like a book where I can just take my brain out and laugh, this is one of those books. The writer is great at the "cheeky", "pun" and "groaner" humor along with some good old fashion banter. I found the world created to be quirky and fun. If you like a D&D world with characters that know they live in a D&D world this is for you.
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