Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick
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Narrated by:
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Elizabeth Evans
About this listen
New York Times best-selling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest - and arguably greatest - sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe series.
In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the 23-year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness.
On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.
The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements, and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.
“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland” (Kirkus Reviews).
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Story
Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all.
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???
- By Avery Adair on 11-27-23
By: Jack Townsend
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Razzmatazz
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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San Francisco, 1947. Bartender Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin and the rest of the Cookie’s Coffee Irregulars—a ragtag bunch of working mugs last seen in Noir—are on the hustle: they’re trying to open a driving school; shanghai an abusive Swedish stevedore; get Mable, the local madam, and her girls to a Christmas party at the State Hospital without alerting the overzealous head of the S.F.P.D. vice squad.
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Noir Has Never Been So Funny
- By Stefan Filipovits on 06-24-22
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A History of What Comes Next
- A Take Them to the Stars Novel
- By: Sylvain Neuvel
- Narrated by: Andrew Byron, Dugald Bruce Lockhart, Imogen Wilde, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Over 99 identical generations, Mia’s family has shaped human history to push them to the stars, making brutal, wrenching choices and sacrificing countless lives. Her turn comes at the dawn of the age of rocketry. Her mission: to lure Wernher Von Braun away from the Nazi party and into the American rocket program, and secure the future of the space race.
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Read (Listen to) the Notes at the end first
- By i8thesandbox on 04-12-21
By: Sylvain Neuvel
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Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
- By: Alexander C. Kane
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren. Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
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A Normal Life in an Abnormal World
- By Arthur D. Rich on 08-26-17
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Stars Uncharted
- By: S. K. Dunstall
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 13 hrs
- Unabridged
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Captain Hammond Roystan is a simple cargo runner who has stumbled across the find of a lifetime: the Hassim, a disabled exploration ship - and its valuable record of unexplored worlds. His junior engineer, Josune Arriola, said her last assignment was in the uncharted rim. A renowned body-modification artist, Nika Rik Terri has run afoul of clients who will not take no for an answer, and she is dragging along a rookie modder. Together this mismatched crew will end up on one ship, hurtling through the lawless reaches of deep space with Roystan at the helm.
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Slow start but great ending
- By Patti on 08-19-18
By: S. K. Dunstall
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Doorways in the Sand
- By: Roger Zelazny
- Narrated by: Andrew J. Andersen
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Fred Cassidy leads an idyllic life. As long as he remains a full time college student without a degree, he is provided a very generous stipend from his uncle's estate. But after thirteen years of happy undergrad existence everything is about to change. Cassidy's home is broken into and ransacked. When he enters he is assaulted by a former professor wanting to know where the alien artifact known as the star stone is. Cassidy manages to escape, only to discover that he is also being pursued by hired criminals, Anglophile zealots, government agents, and aliens.
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Great tale, merely adequate reading
- By Gereg Jones Muller on 09-17-24
By: Roger Zelazny
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Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century
- By: Kim Fu
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve, Sean Patrick Hopkins, Samara Naeymi, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In the 12 unforgettable tales of Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century, the strange is made familiar and the familiar strange, such that a girl growing wings on her legs feels like an ordinary rite of passage, while a bug-infested house becomes an impossible Kafkaesque nightmare. Each story builds a new world all its own: A group of children steal a haunted doll; a runaway bride encounters a sea monster; a vendor sells toy boxes that seemingly control the passage of time; an insomniac is seduced by the Sandman.
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Masterfully Original and Compelling
- By Georgia Moir on 02-04-22
By: Kim Fu
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Master of None
- All Trades, Book 1
- By: Shane Walker
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex is broke. He's pretty much always been broke. A misspent youth led to mistakes that led to convictions and plea deals. No career, no education, no hope. Now he has a chance to make things right for him and his family when the newest immersive MMO comes with the ability to convert money earned in the game into real currency. Well, it's cryptocurrency, but that's real-ish, right?
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Meh, Unrealistic and not Exciting
- By David R on 07-22-20
By: Shane Walker
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Bubba the Monster Hunter: Books 1-3
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: John Solo
- Length: 37 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert "Bubba" Brabham never wanted to hunt monsters. He mostly wanted to drink beer, hunt deer, and chase women, like every other giant redneck in the world. But life interfered, and Bubba found himself holster-deep in the family business: monster hunting. Now he's the Southeastern Regional Hunter for the Holy Roman Catholic Church...Bubba has to save the world from the things that go bump in the night! Just as soon as he's done with his beer. And maybe after one more lap dance.
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This is not Bubba Shackelford
- By SamR on 08-06-19
By: John G. Hartness
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl
- By: Andrea Lawlor
- Narrated by: Dani Martineck
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 1993 and Paul Polydoris tends bar at the only gay club in a university town thrumming with politics and partying. He studies queer theory, has a dyke best friend, makes zines, and is a flaneur with a rich dating life. But Paul's also got a secret: he's a shapeshifter. Oscillating wildly from Riot Grrrl to leather cub, Paul transforms his body and his gender at will as he crossed the country–a journey and adventure through the deep queer archives of struggle and pleasure.
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The Hottest Book Ever Written
- By Dawn on 06-28-19
By: Andrea Lawlor
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Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
What listeners say about Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jessica
- 11-22-20
Fun story, solid sociological foundation
This was such a wild and fun and deeply silly story set on a framework of a lot of hours dedicated to thinking about the direction our culture is heading in. While it feels over-the-top at first blush, the more I think about it, the more realistic of an outcome “Tabula Rasa”, the city where the story takes place, feels.
The voices of each character, even the villains, feels honest and reflective of real people and viewpoints. They’re treated with nuance and depth. The female protagonist’s voice felt authentic and relatable. I especially like that there are multiple BIPOC people represented in ways that steers clear of stereotypes and standard overused tropes.
I have always enjoyed listening to “David Wong” speak about his viewpoints on society and culture and class and the future and it is so fun to read those thoughts come to life.
Only thing I disliked about this book is the fact that I will now have to wait for him to write the next one in this series.
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- S. Wilson
- 11-12-20
Great book, hit and miss narration
Overall, a great story. However the narration is a little uneven. Elizabeth Evans does a decent job with the general exposition but, the voices and the vocal inflections that she chooses for the characters often distract me from the story. I realize that sort of thing is subjective so, your mileage may vary. Whether you like the narrator or not, you'll love the novel if you like Wong's other books. If you haven't read David Wong before, I don't recommend starting with this one. I'm going to start the book again within the week but, I'm actually going to read it this time, instead of listening to the audio version. Highly recommended despite those caveats.
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- Joseph
- 02-01-22
Excellent book in a excellent series.
The book is well written, engaging, laugh out loud funny at points and it made me gasp a few times. Also a rather poinginant illustration of where aspects of the future may be pointing.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-25-24
listen at 1.50
this was a really fun, well-written book. I love this narrator, and she didn't disappoint. I wish it hadn't ended!
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- D3LIGHT&D3CAY
- 12-26-20
clever&amusing narrative and fantastic delivery
Elizabeth Evans's narration of this book was fantastic, I finished it in a day and was happily entertained from start to finish. I can't speak on a comparison to other David Wong novels as this is the first I've had the pleasure of enjoying, I'll draw the obvious conclusion that this is a story apart from "John does in the end", I found it immensely entertaining and a unique scenario and world that was captivating and consuming. worth the credit, I'll be checking out David's other books, going in with high expectations, if this book is any kind of indication.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-25-20
freaking awesome!! did not let me down!!
did not disappoint just as entertaining as all the rest of his books. great characters I can't say enough good things about this book. and no PC snowflake business sleeping in
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- Daren Armstrong
- 12-15-20
Love David Wong's work
My life is spent either entrenched in a DLW anxiously awaiting his next. Waiting on the next will be with a smike on my face due to this offering. Quite the world and set of characters DW has created, and the story does not disappoint. Not ad drawn out as his previous works, but just as captivating.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-29-21
Narrated beautifully
Now an audiobook requires not only a good story but of course a solid narrator, as well. And Evans nailed it for the second time. I’ve noticed that some female narrators don’t have a variety of voices at their command, but she certainly does. Also the story was even better than the first one, which was a feat in itself.
Only critique is to David Wong. Will you get off your ass and write faster? I want more and I’m really impatient.
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- Shane Alexander
- 05-10-21
Another home run!
If you haven't read a David Wong book, stop what you're doing and get started now! Another masterful blend of genres, and a story that will keep you guessing until the end. I hope this isn't the last we see of Zoey Ashe and the Suits.
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- ED
- 04-21-21
Perfect Amount of Action and Absurdity
David Wong is becoming an all-time favorite author of mine and I can’t wait until the next Zoey book!
Zoey is incredibly relatable and fallible, but she ends up surprising you in the best possible ways. I appreciate her witty banter and the touch of absurdity that we get, being just slightly ahead in the future.
Do yourself a favor and get all David Wong’s books and listen to them. You will be highly entertained. I think David Wong might be the new Christopher Moore, which is a huge compliment!!
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