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Say What You Mean

A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

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Say What You Mean

By: Oren Jay Sofer, Joseph Goldstein
Narrated by: Oren Jay Sofer, Mark Bramhall
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Find your voice, speak your truth, listen deeply - a guide to more meaningful and mindful conversations.

We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic - relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack?

In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and nonviolent communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating.

The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to:

  • Feel confident during conversation
  • Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction
  • Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say
  • Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations
  • Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions
©2018 Oren Jay Sofer (P)2019 Random House Audio Communication & Social Skills Meditation Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Spirituality Words, Language & Grammar Mindfulness Mindful Communication

Featured Article: Best Audiobooks on Communication


Communication is essential to getting along and getting ahead—but for most of us, it's a skill we're expected to simply pick up as we move through life. Not surprisingly, there might be a lot you don't know about communicating with others. Luckily, communication is a widely studied and well-researched field. Many experts and authors have gathered their best advice and techniques to help you improve your communication skills and, by extension, improve your relationships. Here are some of the best audiobooks on communication to help you get better at listening, speaking, and connecting.

Featured Article Best Audiobooks on Communication
Practical Communication Techniques • Mindful Listening Approach • Calm Narrator Voice • Compassionate Relationship Building
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I will definitely be listening again. I was listening to 3 books at a time and this one really hit home and felt very human. The Narrator has a friendly, natural tone that makes it easy to absorb the information. Say What You Mean has helped me reevaluate the way I communicate at work and at home and discover new ways to improve my relationships.

Life-changing

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Great strategies for working toward more effective communication. I like the connection with mindfulness. Thank you!

Great strategies

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great book to help to communicate better with your partner or any type of relationship you may seek or are in at the moment

communication skills

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We can always improve on communication. This book has great tips and reminders. I will use many of these tips in my own personal and work life.

Thought provoking

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and I wish I had a different title, although I don’t know what it would be. It’s soooo much more that just a system for communicating with purpose. It’s about knowing yourself, your needs, and how they tangle into you psyche and speech. If you are into meditation, check out Oren’s guideds, you will be glad you did.

I wish this were required reading...

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I think this book is the type of title you need to find at the right time. If you are a person who feels like you have always been sensitive - then you repressed your emotions to avoid conflict - and now you are feeling stable and ready to re-integrate emotions back into the way you socialize and/or just want to interact with people and build relationships in a more meaningful way - then this book is hugely powerful.

I don’t understand the reviews saying the material is dry or elementary - I think these are concepts that very few people actually are capable of putting into practice. It requires coming to terms with some of your own BS first - and you need to be interested in socializing for the sake of bettering the lives of people around you. If you haven’t found a path that meets your needs and you aren’t ready to try to keep that feeling and take another step towards learning to show up and be there for other people now - then none of this content will be useful for you!

I found the material meaningful and relevant to me, but it is challenging work. I could not drink this book down in one sitting - it’s actually kind of a lot! But I have enjoyed taking the actionable advice.

Challenging - but worth it.

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One of my favorite books. A book to return to again and again about mindful non violent communication. A calm and nice narrator voice to listen to.

Favorite book

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I took Oren's online course for this book and it was life changing. Oren has a true genuine quality in his wiliness to be venerable in his communications with others, sharing from his own life's experiences and his heart. His techniques teach us to be present for ourselves and the other person and at the same time how get the needs of being heard and valued met in both. He helps us achieve this through sensory meditations of learning how to be pause and be present, using reflection, and buddy practice to slowly change old communication habits that no longer serve us or others well. Oren's website has recordings that accompany this book. His site has informational blogs and you can sign up for his email offerings to enhance your journey as your travel through the pages his book. The books audio was also recorded by Oren himself offering us more opportunities to learn the importance of when and where to pause, for how long and allowing us to hear how this emphasizes compassionate listening. The work of Marshall Rosenberg and Thich Nhat Hanh on non-violent communication, learning to be in the present moment, loving kindness, and deep listening, have both influenced Oren's life in bringing us to the next natural step of world peace. This is a book you do not want to miss.

Life Changing!

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I really appreciated this book. I inherited a rather manipulative approach to communication and started noticing that although i sought out solutions, I would not be able to reach them using my communication style. I was very much a storm-out type person, and struggled with conveying that I was listening without coming off as checked out, or rude. This book helped me realize that I am a product of my early environment, and my parents a product of theirs, but I have the power to change the way we converse, and help it lead to more solutions than arguments and miscommunications.

Also, the bells were a very nice addition. I have adhd, so it helped me return to center and actively listen.
Thank you!!! :D

Helpful for breaking generational patterns

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Oren's clear explanations and user friendly practices guide us into a relaxing journey towards emotional regulation.

Life changing resource

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