BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 3
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
A leader dead. A complicated relationship lost. And a conglomerate angered...
After unwittingly becoming the CEO of the growing Silken Sands Affiliate, Tyson finds himself in an increasingly dangerous Arizonan desert, the protector of a growing community of Nu-Earth humans faced with the very real possibility of total corporate annihilation.
Dearth wants their land, and they will not take no for an answer. But behind Tyson stand a growing band of capable administrators and heroes, and a community of people who believe in him. He is their leader. They trust in him, even if he doesn't trust in himself.
Powerful multiversal forces are at play. Market upsets, brilliant purchases, and the invisible hand slide, slap, and strangle as the campaign for Arizona state rages, and Silken Sands digs in for a decisive battle.
This story features an amalgamation of Amazon, Walmart, every service fee, sales algorithm, membership perk, advertising jingo, Microsoft mascot, and insane discount that you have ever experienced in your life coupled with the madness of the multiverse, a dash of invisible hand monopolism, feudalism, straight-up cronyism, and LOTS of profanity. There is fantasy violence, base-building, tons of market loot, monsters, a dungeon, affiliate and credit levels, and progression.
BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher completes the How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona story arc, but the Shopocalypse Saga will continue.
©2023 Joseph Phelps and Damien Hanson (P)2023 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Overall
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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Glitchworld
- By: Damien Hanson, Nolan Locke
- Narrated by: Michael Foster, Jenny Watson
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Prestige Gaming is the ultimate experience. Better than VR, better than real life, plus you can have as many BOOBS as you want to.... When Meredith Johnston invites Derek Hammings to play he is both shocked and ecstatic. But not all dreams are what they seem. Things are going wrong at Prestige Gaming. Computers laugh and holler. Villains stutter. And Meredith just cannot seem to get laid. As tiny nanobots begin to swarm with a will of their own can Derek and Meredith survive the reality of the game? Or will they end up bloody smears in the New Mexican sand?
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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All the Dust That Falls
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: zaifyr
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
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A rare 5 star from me. looking forward to the next
- By Nathan Allen on 12-27-23
By: zaifyr
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Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
- Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
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The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Warren on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
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Mimic & Me
- By: Cassius Lange, Ryan Tang
- Narrated by: Ryan H. Reid, Dorrie Sacks, Jeff Hays
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.
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loved the narration. The story is OK, but
- By Michael Wilson on 08-18-23
By: Cassius Lange, and others
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Speedrunning the Multiverse
- A LitRPG Cultivation Adventure (Speedrunning the Multiverse, Book 1)
- By: adastra339
- Narrated by: Graham Halstead
- Length: 18 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Behold the Multiverse! Its countless realms overflow with terrific opportunities and terrible dangers—warring sects, priceless treasures, martial techniques, and all manner of horrible monsters abound. And Dorian has conquered them all. He’s a Godking—one of the most powerful creatures to ever exist. And as he sits from his throne at the literal summit of the world, bored out of his mind, one question comes to mind: what now? Do it all again, of course! But faster.
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I only got about 5 hours in
- By DarkChaos on 07-19-23
By: adastra339
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BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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Funny
- By Mandymomof3boyz on 05-20-23
By: Damien Hanson, and others
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Glitchworld
- By: Damien Hanson, Nolan Locke
- Narrated by: Michael Foster, Jenny Watson
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Prestige Gaming is the ultimate experience. Better than VR, better than real life, plus you can have as many BOOBS as you want to.... When Meredith Johnston invites Derek Hammings to play he is both shocked and ecstatic. But not all dreams are what they seem. Things are going wrong at Prestige Gaming. Computers laugh and holler. Villains stutter. And Meredith just cannot seem to get laid. As tiny nanobots begin to swarm with a will of their own can Derek and Meredith survive the reality of the game? Or will they end up bloody smears in the New Mexican sand?
By: Damien Hanson, and others
-
All the Dust That Falls
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: zaifyr
- Narrated by: Phil Thron
- Length: 20 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
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A rare 5 star from me. looking forward to the next
- By Nathan Allen on 12-27-23
By: zaifyr
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Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
- Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
-
-
The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Warren on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
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Mimic & Me
- By: Cassius Lange, Ryan Tang
- Narrated by: Ryan H. Reid, Dorrie Sacks, Jeff Hays
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.
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loved the narration. The story is OK, but
- By Michael Wilson on 08-18-23
By: Cassius Lange, and others
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Speedrunning the Multiverse
- A LitRPG Cultivation Adventure (Speedrunning the Multiverse, Book 1)
- By: adastra339
- Narrated by: Graham Halstead
- Length: 18 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Behold the Multiverse! Its countless realms overflow with terrific opportunities and terrible dangers—warring sects, priceless treasures, martial techniques, and all manner of horrible monsters abound. And Dorian has conquered them all. He’s a Godking—one of the most powerful creatures to ever exist. And as he sits from his throne at the literal summit of the world, bored out of his mind, one question comes to mind: what now? Do it all again, of course! But faster.
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I only got about 5 hours in
- By DarkChaos on 07-19-23
By: adastra339
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Apocalypse: Generic System
- The Stitched Worlds, Book 1
- By: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Jeb Trapper tried to kill himself. The gun jammed. Two months later, the vet is now participating in underground trials of ecstasy to treat his PTSD. Everything seems to be going great until Jeb is teleported into a tutorial, along with everyone else on Earth. Now, he has to choose the level of difficulty. There's just one problem: He's high as a kite, and nothing seems impossible.
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It was great, till the end
- By Donovan Mullen on 08-23-21
By: Macronomicon
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The Hedge Wizard
- A LitRPG / Progression Fantasy Adventure (The Hedge Wizard, Book 1)
- By: Alex Maher
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Legends speak of wizards with the power to rival Gods. To Hump, it’s just a story. Apprenticed to a wandering wizard, he grew up on the road, following the coin on whatever quest it took them. He always believed his master was just an ordinary hedge wizard, until the old man suddenly died, and his book of spells bound to Hump’s soul. Knowing no other life, Hump takes up his master’s staff and heads out alone into a world of dungeons and monsters. So begins the path of The Wanderer. The White Flame. The Hedge Wizard.
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I'm so torn on this.
- By Joseph on 06-27-22
By: Alex Maher
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Jake's Magical Market
- By: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 20 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
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Lots of 5 star reviews
- By Noah M on 01-09-22
By: J.R. Mathews
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The Prince Has No Pants
- Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
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Ignore any reviews below 3 stars... and probably the 5 star ones too.
- By Christopher on 02-06-21
By: Matthew Howry
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Forge Master
- A LitRPG Adventure (The Tower Series, Book 1)
- By: Seth Ring
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Ascending should have been the easy part. But after being thrown into the void, Thorn finds himself stranded in a strange world filled with even stranger creatures. Together with his cute battle pet, the mysterious god beast Hati, and a sentient AI named Eve, Thorn must forge a place for himself in this new world. Unfortunately, the local guilds all have other ideas, and soon the Titan finds himself embroiled in plots that even his famed strength cannot help him with.
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NOT THE FIRST BOOK
- By Executar on 03-13-23
By: Seth Ring
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Master of Puppets
- Master of Puppets, Book 1
- By: Eric Ugland
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
A Secret Service operative and dedicated survivalist, Special Agent Del Roosevelt had a plan for every world-ending scenario and regularly trained for them all. He was even ready for a date with the hottest woman in his office next Friday. At least he hoped so. But all that training, all those rations, all that prepping? Useless for the apocalypse that actually played out. Del wakes up half-buried in a giant trash pile, missing his thumbs. And, um, covered in red fur. He's stuck in a world of fuzzy monsters, senseless violence, and cult-like crusaders.
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swing and a miss
- By A. C. B on 09-29-24
By: Eric Ugland
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Conservation
- A Fantasy LitRPG Adventure (Battle Mage Farmer, Book 8)
- By: Seth Ring
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Conservation is Book 8 of the bestselling Fantasy LitRPG Series by Seth Ring, author of Nova Terra. Get your copy today and explore a world whose secrets have been buried under decades of war.
By: Seth Ring
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Enter System
- Natural Laws Apocalypse Series, Book 1
- By: Tom Larcombe
- Narrated by: Derek Shoales
- Length: 12 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Marc's home from college on break, spending his time laughing about some of the crazy news stories he's found online, and gaming. When a message appears in his line of sight, blocking out absolutely everything else, he nearly freaks out. The message warns that the world has been in a variant Natural Laws beta test for millennia and that it's about to revert to the norms.
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Awkward. Painful. A choir.
- By Joseph on 02-10-22
By: Tom Larcombe
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Time-Marked Warlock
- The Chronos Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Shami Stovall
- Narrated by: Annie Ellicott, Jeff Hays, Justin Thomas James
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Adair Finch is the most powerful warlock in the world, and one of the best private investigators for hire. He has dealt with corporate vampires, murderous werewolves, and even fae royalty. Everything was perfect until he lost one case—the case where he also lost his brother. So Finch retired. From magic. From PI work. From everything. Bree Blackstone, a twelve-year-old witch, doesn’t know or care about any of that except Finch’s reputation. In the middle of the night, she bangs on Finch’s door. Her mother has been murdered, and now the assassin is after Bree as well.
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One of the best books I've listened to.
- By Jason on 08-22-24
By: Shami Stovall
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Industrial Strength Magic
- By: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell, Jeff Hays, Annie Ellicott, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Born to a Magical Fantasy Princess and a nine-to-five Supervillain in the most superhero riddled city in the world, Perry's never felt...adequate. He's got no talent for magic, and not a scrap of superpowers to his name. When The System boots and unlocks his powers, it forces him to follow in his father's footsteps, but he'd rather take after his mother... Maybe there's a way he can do both...
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Childish. Trite. A mediocre YA story
- By Jacob on 08-28-24
By: Macronomicon
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Portal to Nova Roma
- By: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
- Length: 22 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing the only person he ever cared about, Alexander, a rogue artificial intelligence, opens a portal to an alternate dimension to escape his grief. Scanning trillions of different dimensions, Alexander finally finds a world that is reminiscent of the only time he was ever happy, back when he could play virtual reality games with his only friend. Only this new world isn't full of idyllic adventures and fantasy roleplaying. Instead, Alexander finds himself trapped in the middle of a city where monsters have ravaged the world and the only people alive struggle to survive.
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I liked the author's other book.
- By Ed Pegg Jr on 09-04-22
By: J.R. Mathews
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Ashborn Primordial
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- By: Vowron Prime
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 24 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Ekavir is a hardworking lumberjack's son. It isn't his fault crows speak in eldritch voices when he walks through the forest, or that his blood-red eyes leave the village kids shaking in their shoes. He might be the latest incarnation of a dreaded god known as the Primordial, but he never asked for that. He doesn't even know. When knights arrive hunting for the Ender of Realms, Vir loses his idyllic life along with his chance to be anything else. To grow strong enough to survive, he'll have to become the Primordial.
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A Hidden GEM!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-26-24
By: Vowron Prime
What listeners say about BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- casey bumgarner
- 01-05-24
doof
Great take on post apocalypse life. Plenty of humor light and heavy. The world building is on point.
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2 people found this helpful
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- ApprenticeCook
- 07-23-24
Great battles
The author and the narrator do an excellent job pulling you into each scene. You feel like you're actually going through the moment with Tyson.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-29-23
morb
God It is just morbin 10/10 would morb it again morb morb morb morb
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jed Gray
- 11-08-23
Original
A sort of lit RPG I’ve never heard before excellent story, excellent narration, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat. It’s been quite a while since I had a new series keep me this interested very well done!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Oliver
- 09-27-23
Very engaging.
The story's pacing remains strong, though slightly slower than the first two. However, the change of pace is welcome because the extra time is spent planting the seeds of important character developments. The writing remains excellent. Clear dialog. Intense and evocative action. Well aportioned slice-of-life scenes.
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1 person found this helpful
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- L. Lipp
- 07-24-24
A page turner!
Same literary quality as the books before, now the narration has improved and we can understand what the hobs say!
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- Margrett Irish
- 10-02-23
Just awesome
I'm loving these books and the stories is so engaging, it moves fast, is action packed and the imagination of some of the creatures and tech is fantastic. I wanted to take my time listening to this one who knows if another one will come out soon but it's so addicting I finished it in two days.
These three together the authors and narrator are my new favorites for sure.
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- Philip
- 11-02-23
I hope this story never ends
Best story best narrator buymort buymort buymort buymort buymort. Not sure if it could be a good movie tho
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jarred Scoopie Allen
- 09-27-23
one heck of a ride
from start to finish this book keeps pumping out the goods every goods book needs
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-16-24
Great addition to the series.
Rise of the Windowpuncher did not disappoint. Strong character building and a peek at the larger world of the series make this a strong addition for any action and sci-fi fan.
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