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How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women
- Narrated by: Terrence Real
- Length: 5 hrs
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Publisher's summary
The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles, Real explains. In the past 30 years, women's roles have changed radically and men's have not. For the first time, adult women are asking their partners to access the very skills - emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibility - that most men have had stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not raise boys to be intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same time, girls are taught to be compliant and accommodating. The result is that men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills.
Real draws on myth, literature, film, and heartrending stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, marriage, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles but also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of love is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections, and he then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the book that every couple has been waiting for - and our culture needs.
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
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Crazy Time, Revised Edition
- Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
- By: Abigail Trafford
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts the emotional journey of a breakup of a marriage, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life. This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the personal and economic effects of divorce in adults and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to the breakup of all committed relationships.
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Better as an additional book
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By: Abigail Trafford
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
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Unrequited
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The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned 30, she fell in love with someone who didn't return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.
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Great book! So-so narrator....
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By: Lisa A. Phillips
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Growing Yourself Back Up
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We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general listener, best-selling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.
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A Must Read for All Human Beings
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So Long, Insecurity
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Perhaps one of the biggest issues all women face is their own insecurity. Beth Moore, one of today's most admired and trusted Christian writers, wants women to be free from the insecurity trap. So Long, Insecurity will strike a chord with women everywhere, as Beth speaks truth into the lives of listeners, showing them how to deal with their innermost fears, rediscover their God-given dignity, and develop a whole new perspective.
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AMAZING!
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A Fractured Mind
- My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder
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At the peak of his professional career, after having led the Asia Society for nearly a decade, Oxnam was haunted by periodic blackouts and episodic rages. After his family and friends intervened, Oxnam received help from a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffery Smith, and entered a rehab center. It wasn't until 1990, during a session with Dr. Smith, that the first of Oxnam's 11 alternate personalities, an angry young boy named Tommy, suddenly emerged.
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A solid look at a rare disorder
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Every Heart Restored
- A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin
- By: Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey, Stephen Arterburn - Forward, and others
- Narrated by: Carla Mercer-Meyer, Lyle Blaker
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
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As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can't get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos - and millions of wives suffer as a result. Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man's Battle, the best-selling men's guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.
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Good Book, However...
- By hcmontessori on 03-11-21
By: Fred Stoeker, and others
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I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me
- Getting Real About Getting Close
- By: John Ortberg
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
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I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me takes on one of life's most important questions: How can I get closer to God and other people? We were created for deep connections. When people have deep connections, says John Ortberg, they win in life. When they don't have deep connections, they cannot win in life. I'd Like You More If You Were More like Me offers help in overcoming one of the biggest obstacles to making deep connections: the fact that we're so different. Different from God and different from each other.
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Terrible Title Fabulous Book!
- By 3boymama on 10-03-18
By: John Ortberg
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attachment theory
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Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.
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for betrayed women - not men!
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
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What listeners say about How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tom Gunsmoke
- 05-04-12
Profound - for Men and Women
Any additional comments?
A real eye opener, spirit shaker for me. Only wish I'd heard and known 20 years ago. Not all specifics are totally in alignment with my experience (and failures) but the vast majority are. Am grateful for getting it when I did. The authors description of the dynamics may be intuitively known, but are presented in a fashion that resonates and gives substance to how they are created, allowing those with inhibited awareness to see more clearly (and get it at the core).
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7 people found this helpful
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- michelle
- 01-31-16
easy to understand relationship complications.
great background infomation of relationship theory. but lacking enough couple example to help with real life applications.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-14-19
great content, helpful stories
this is a great book, especially for couples trying to better understand each other or trying to get through a difficult period.
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- Ka
- 07-23-18
Illuminating book
Terrence calls it like it is, again. This book read as though his other books, the new rules of marriage, and I don’t want to talk about it, had a love child. He briefly dips in to his research of covert male depression, and the societal conditions, or patriarchy, unfairly placed on men, and the consequent results. He mostly focuses on couple dynamics through the rest of the book. Unfortunately, all of us can relate to this material in some way. But, it is fortunate, in that Terrence’s research can help foster compassion and backbone to deal with these struggles at home. I have found his work to be incredibly insightful, and relieving to hear. The more you know...
The one star review by the person who only listened to the sample, is uninformed and misleading. Yes, Terrence begins with addressing the male behavior, for reasons he describes later, but rest assured, he works with the females on their sh*t too.
Thank you, Terrence, for sharing your profound wisdom. You’ve helped me greatly.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- M. Thea Temple
- 01-09-16
Real Stuff! (Pun intended)
By my measures, this is, quite simply, the best couple's therapy book I've ever read. Erudite and contextual, Terry Real nevertheless offers direct and personal courage to help guide us on our own winding way. Points out the elephants in the room that we've been insisting are just old hatracks. Profound.
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- carrie
- 09-24-23
I’ve never heard anything like this
This book was amazing. I listened to it in 2 days and have been obsessed. The perspective on how patriarchy has hurt men is fascinating and totally resonated. Especially as a mother of 2 young boys. Terry’s perspective also validated what I’ve observed and also why therapy has been so ineffective for us.
I highly highly recommend.
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- HiggsBozo
- 08-17-24
A Good Reminder
This book does a great job of synthesizing information I've encountered throughout my life, from reading my mother's/stepmother parenting books as a kid to psychology classes I took in young adulthood to feminist theory I learned throughout my life. But what I especially appreciate is that it gives that information through a thoughtful male perspective.
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Overall
- Celeste
- 02-28-06
incredible
Terrence Real says it like it is. I'm a graduate student in family therapy, and I recommend this book to my professors and fellow students. It's been incredibly helpful in my relationship with my husband.
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4 people found this helpful
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- girlsas
- 04-06-19
Great book
This is a great book. I would recommend it for therapists and for couples - especially couples in the earlier stages of marriage that are beginning to struggle. This information would and could (possibly) have been extremely helpful for my husband and I, if my husband had been interested in listening to it and discussing Real’s points. Might be too late for us in our particular situation (without counseling), but the book has still been valuable to me in terms of helping to think about our personal marital struggles in a broader context. Seems to me that Real is spot-on in his description and interpretation of the historical and sociological underpinnings of the difficult power dynamics that many heterosexual couples in the US face. Note my qualifiers though: this book doesn’t directly address every possible permutation of diversity in couples. To his credit, he doesn’t claim for it to apply to everyone in every situation (since very little psychosocial theory actually can, anyway). For the large slice of couples to whom his work applies (those in a culture strongly influenced by patriarchy and traditional gender roles, historically and currently), his insights are really applicable, compassionate and helpful. Highly recommended.
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Overall
- Brian
- 05-02-06
must read
incredible insight and great relational guide. i've listened more than a few times. The more I listen, the more I pick up. it's tough to write while listening in my car!
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