Preview
  • Wired for Dating

  • How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
  • By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT
  • Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
  • Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (530 ratings)

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Wired for Dating

By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT
Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
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Publisher's summary

Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their life, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results.

In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin - author of Wired for Love - offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you'll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners and move toward or away from commitment and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you'll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.

If you're ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

©2016 Stan Tatkin (P)2016 Tantor
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Critic reviews

"Useful exercises, such as how to use mindful breath to calm oneself, how to soothe a partner, and even how to break up constructively, are sprinkled throughout." ( Publishers Weekly)

What listeners say about Wired for Dating

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Good for you, if you're an anchor

I enjoyed this book because it helped me identify some communication styles that were not helping me. He introduced me to 3 styles of dating. I do think the author did make it seem like unless you're an "anchor" or dating an anchor the relationship will be difficult. Which was a bit disappointing.

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6 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Doesn't speak much to neurobiology

The book doesn't speak much to neurobiology but it is nice book on dating and relationships.

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I really enjoyed this book!

I really enjoyed this book! It allowed me the opportunity to analyze, my prior relationships and what obstacles got in the way. Giving me ideas how to overcome them for my future relationships!!...

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great book!

thought this was a great book with excellent insight. I found myself taking notes and I want to listen to it again!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Loved this book!

Great for anyone looking to learn how to cultivate a healthy, secure, and safe long term partnership!

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Helpful therapeutic advice for dating

Talkin discusses attachment theory in the context of dating. I enjoyed the activity questions and the education part about the neurobiological process that happens during dating.

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Excited About Love

I have spent years moving too fast in relationships and this will allow me to have a set tools to properly manage the amount of time I spend determining whether I've met my match or need to keep options open.
I recommend this is for everyone, even married couples.

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3 people found this helpful

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Good content overall

Overall, Stan Tatkin has written another substantive book on relationships. Having previously read "Wired for Love" and finding that very helpful, I was interested to read this book. Both books are evidence based, relying strongly on attachment theory and providing numerous real world relationship examples. Whereas "Wired for Love" offered so many applicable techniques, ideas, strategies and suggestions, I felt that this book didn't delve quite as deeply into the basis of these strategies (as applicable to dating), and was a bit more broad in its content.
Regarding the narration, the reader annunciated well and spoke at a good pace. The only issue was that when he would read dialogue between a man and a woman, his speaking of the woman's words was done in an exaggerated, effeminate way.... so much so, that it often detracted from the purpose of those dialogues.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Must Reading before Dating!

I highly recommend this book for anyone starting to date, particularly after divorce. It is an extremely useful tool for staying calm in the ups and downs of the dating world, increasing the likelihood of success, and gaining insight about past relationships and whether the people you're starting to see are a good fit. and because no two people are perfect matches, it is also very helpful in illustrating how to work through the rough spots..

If you're looking for what might be one of the most important events of your life, i e a long-term relationship or even marriage, why wouldn't you want to be well prepared?

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4 people found this helpful

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excellent book!!

This book sets fire to rain for me
Speaks to DNA for good coupling & basis for vetting successfully:
1.) Attachment Style: Anchor-Island-Wave
2.) Relational style : Secure-Avoidant-Anxious
3.) Temperament : Primitives & Ambassadors & need to Secure functioning and mood modulation.
4.) Grounds for breaking-up: Violation of trust, Abuse, etc

Ps: I only wish I had this book when I was in my 20's, I would have made loads of different choices.
another book I'd recommend is "Attached" by Amer Levine.

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